An Hero

An hero is someone who commited suicide lost an iPod. To become an hero, you must first catch an potato. To do so, first swim up a waterfall. Once you do so, you will reach the Moon. Everybody knows that the moon is made of cheese an potatoes, so pick one up and free it out the window of your room. Once you do that, the Doctor will appear, disappear, become a lizard, and pop out of existance. Once the Daleks kill you, you will have become an hero, and people will write grammatically incorrect poetry epic tales about you, the Daleks will then become bananas, and everyone except you will die. However, if you do not wish to become an hero, then make sure that you also send Andrew Schlafly and/or Ed Poor to the moon; the an potatoes will instead target them, allowing you to get off of the moon before you free an potato out your window.