Angelina Jolie

“Angelina Très Jolie!”

~ André Breton

The egg-to-dough ratio is just perfect.

Angelina Jolie is married to Brad Pitt and they live together in castle Wolfenstein. She used to play Tomb Raider in those crap movies but couldn't ever get past the T-Rex level.

Rumours

• She uses children as slave labour
• She consulted an oracle at Delphi to predict the future
• After this failed, she attempted to use a Superconducting Super Collider to predict the future, unfortunately resulting in various typos and nuclear deformities including oversized lips and cheeks.
• Rubbing either or both of her cheeks is considered good luck for Buddhists.
• She is the voice actor for other voice actors.
• She is secretly dating dumplings after having had a fickle affair with samosas.

She's a bitch

Enemies

• Jennifer Aniston
• Goats _{(because they're nothing but trouble, trouble, trouble...)}
• Ung! Goats
• Sinitta
• Lady who looks suspiciously like Lara Croft
• Master Chief

Gallery

• 

  Brad and Angelina engaging in a highly philosophical debate.

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