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Mice in the belfry,
Bats on the lawn,
Looking for reasons,
they're already gone.
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Looking for sausage
to roast on a spit.
Looking for earmuffs
that really do fit.
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Found me a sausage,
but it pitched a fit.
Found me some earmuffs,
but they hiss and they spit.
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Roasted the earmuffs.
The sausage got loose.
It was last seen
out chasing a goose.
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The goose was seen running
down I-95
with state troopers behind,
shouting "Take her alive!"
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Geese are bad drivers,
that's commonly known,
Poor when they're goslings,
and worse when they're grown.
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They don't do speed limits,
or stop signs or ....
Stay out of their way,
or you're like to get hit.
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Ducks in the downspout,
mice in the grid.
Looking for someone
to ask what they did.
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Mice in the conduits,
looking for cheese.
If they cut all the wires,
we will surely all freeze.[1]
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Mice in my pantaloons.
Why are they there?
Can't they go find
their own underwear?
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Dogs using dormphone
drive everyone nuts.
Always, they tap dial,
... um.[2]
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Bugs in the software.
Bugs in my ear.
Bugs in the wall sound
uncommonly near,
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when I'm trying to sleep,
and it's 7 AM,
and the bugs have been bugging
since I don't know when.
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I chase them with candles,
I chase them with sticks,
I chase them with bees wax
to make them all slick.
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Looking for sausage
for roasting on sticks.
Looking for candles
that haven't got wicks.
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The wicks can catch fire,
no matter their weight.
We don't pay attention
until it's too late.
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 In case you wanted to know |
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If the bugs eat the candles
with wicks, they explode,
and pieces of house
lie all over the road.
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Apologies to anyone who reads to the end of
this, optimistically hoping for a conclusion...
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