Conkers

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Conkers are used when rations limit the availability of firearms; another well-known alternative, noted for its ease of assembly, is known as arms on fire. Don't worry, conkers naturally have grenades within them anyway. Pay no heed to the fact that one is about to explode in your hand right now. Unless your hand explodes within the conker first, in which case there is a significant risk of the conker getting messy, meaning that it will have to be cleaned, a most painful and arduous task.

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This article is part of the
ILLOGICOPEDIA GUIDE TO WEAPONRY
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