Dawn of the Shed

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"It's just a perfectly ordinary garden shed."

Dawn of the Shed is a historical documentary directed by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson on the international importance of the dungeon FUNGEON garden shed. Hosted by Sir Edward Ross, it tells the tale of the very first shed, built by a Roman centurion in his neighbor's backyard to spite him to house his willing and loyal servants, as well as his hoes.

The first commercially built sheds were manufactured by BORK Industries (hurgle hurgle dongs). Marketed under a number of monikers, including GARDDENRA SFED ("Garden Shed"), PREFABJRIKATED STJORÅG ("Prefabricated Storage"), and ÄLYMINYMKE SFYT BÖX ("Aluminum Shit Box"), many hundreds of thousands of units were sold in the first year of production.

As guessed by the BORK marketers (themselves natives of Newark, New Jersey), hopelessly pedestrian middle class nincompoops were irresistibly drawn to the mystique of the name, and perceived high foreign quality. The Do-It-Yourself construction kept the price down while allowing nitwits with little actual skill to experience the satisfying thrill of building. Errors with the part manufacturing could be blamed on the inability of buyers to read and understand the pseudo-Swedish instructions, and then charge them for the purchase of additional replacement parts (possibly of better quality, but possibly not). Product gold all around.