Discoveries

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Over the ages, discoveries have become anew, with ideas popping out of every nook and cranny, the discovery channel, the element Iron Man and Charles Chickens, where can we start?

Back in the Stone Age, of course.

The Ages[edit | edit source]

These are the Ages of discovery.

The Stone Age[edit | edit source]

The Stone Age was the age of stone tools (9999BC - 9988BC). Inventions included the stone axe which was then later made obsolete by the discovery of the stone x. Also, many weapons were designed, as well as the first painting, The Man Getting Chased By Some Kind Of Animal Thing. That painting sold for more than 6$! Do you know how much that is? Not much!!!

The Rock Age[edit | edit source]

With the discovery of stone and weapons, rocks begin to form after Krakatoa exploded and all the earth's population died, except for one monkey which evolved into a human when it reached Level 17. It picked up rocks and created the mannequin. The rock mannequin. Which fell apart, and caused the creation of the first emo.

The Age After The Rock Age[edit | edit source]

With emos around, and emos asquare, this age should have been named the Emo Age. But then, there was the Goth. The discovery of the Goth, more precisely. The Goth was similiar to the Grue but not exactly, it was not Grue-like but more Goth-like, if you get what i mean.

The Emogoth Age[edit | edit source]

The EmoGoth War started with Emos battling Goths which resulted in the Goths winning, since the Emos all slaughtered themsleves. The word 'slaughter' was discovered as well as the word 'mass', 'banana', and 'Donald'. The first McDonald was created, with a rock M, which looked more like a square. Hence, it became McSquarey-os until people started criticizing the name. This spawned the....

The Age Of Criticism[edit | edit source]

Critics popped out of nowhere, and one report states 'He appeared out of a rock just like that, i almost caught a heart attack'.

But he could not catch it, without a net. So the net was invented and discovered by some guy who stumbled upon and then tripped, broke his skull and invented brain surgery.

The Age Of Brainery[edit | edit source]

The full potential of the mind was discovered in 555BC when a certain Nalberto Minstin was born. Yet he died of cancer. Oh well. Cancer was discovered and Death. The Grim Reaper was made up to give children heart attacks, but it failed. The Grim Weeper was discovered. The mind was drawn, looking similiar to a doughnut. The doughnut was invented out of poop. Faeces was a fanciful name given to describe this. So was faces.

The Age Of Poop Getting Mixed Up With A Body Part[edit | edit source]

People got mixed up and the crowd was invented, so was mingling. A bird was spotted and was known as 'Superman'. So he was invented. TIME named 'Superman" Person Of The Year 500 BC. Until they realized it wasn't a person. The un-person was discovered. So was the banana.

The Bronze Age[edit | edit source]

Bronze was discovered by a cleaning agent. 007 was invented. So were the Flintstones. Sitcom was invented but replaced by Standcom. The first bowling alley was invented, You threw yourself into a pit of spikes and hope you died. Sean Kingston created his suicidal song shortly spawning the emo once again.

The Silver Age[edit | edit source]

Some guy discovers Silver. Uses it to polish his eye. Dies.

The Building Age[edit | edit source]

The first hut is built. Hut is invented. Atilla The Hun attempts to kill people with a 'silver' axe. People die. The cemetery is invented. SO is the graveyard. Though they are exactly the same thing.

The Dark Ages[edit | edit source]

Total blackout. Discovers that the sun orbits round the earth.

The Age Of Mess-upery[edit | edit source]

Discovered they were screwed. It's wrong. The earth orbits the sun.

The Age Of Stupidity[edit | edit source]

Some guy claims the Sun Orbits the Perth. Now what is the Perth?

The 0[edit | edit source]

Year reaches 0. There is a celebration. Numbers are invented after discovering 0. 23 is invented. 4 is invented, then crossed out from China, for being scarry. Richard Scarry is born. He is scarry. Or scary.

The Almost Industrial Age[edit | edit source]

Willy Wonka builds his factory, people try to steal his ideas in an attempt to suck his mind. Brain-sucking aliens are invented as a figment of their imagination. Willy Wonka never wakes up. The coma is discovered. So is the comma, though they have no use for it. The English Language is invented.

The Modern Age[edit | edit source]

ANd blah, everything becomes invented.