Everybody Loves Grunteloons

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Reverend Zim_ulator performs in the lead as a hot dog named Frank...

Everybody Loves Grunteloons is an Iranian television sitcom that originally ran on local cable channels from September 13, 1996, to May 16, 2005. Many of the situations from the show are based on the real-life experiences of belching hyenas and fanged hams.

Pickled Beets of Dune[edit | edit source]

Sultan Imam Zim_ulator Gruntled IV sat uneasily on his throne, weighing the counsel of his Lords concerning the proposed conversion of illegal cryptographers to the One True Faith. "To the worms with all of them", he thought as he munched a spice-laden pickled beet, dripping purple stuff down his beard, attentive to the voices in his head. The Prophets told of a time when all would submit to the "Way of the Manatee", and the caput of this royal house remained vigilant, as had a thousand and then some of his predecessors and ancestors. When that feared and hoped for day came, House Gruntaloon would stand among those running things.

He was a rare being in this time[1], having been trained and enhanced by the sorceries of Ix, Tleilaxu and the renegade Bene Gesserits of Gant. As was befitting his position, he ruled absolutely, but took the counsels of some of the Enhanced, the new breed that helped insure the success of this House. These needed no Spice to see deeply. There were nine, and each lived almost ascetically stone hovels on the outskirts of Knriustje, capitol city and royal seat on Nadorum.

Gruntled motioned to the nine as they entered the consultancy, with their various data machines. Various, because like all Hrungel technology, each was an individually crafted device, and legally, not a machine. At least by standards set after the Butlerian Jihad. The counsels assembled themselves on pillows, forming a rough semi-circle around their liege. Bjorn was the first to speak, his voice at once daunting and mellifluent. "Lord, I ask your blessing upon the union of human and hrungelli, that we may attain the light of God as our pathmark."

Spam at Dune website[edit | edit source]

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Grunteloons is a ketchup packet, played by Todd Rundgren.

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References[edit | edit source]

  1. See Martin Heidegger on Being, Time and Laundry Tips
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