Fairy washing up liquid
During the Norman conquest, Sir Warshin-oop had the almighty fairy appear to him. He bowed his his head and she uttered the blessed words:
|Ten times more powerful than the leading brand.|
Upon hearing this, Washin-oop proclaimed:
|Gets rid of grease in five single scrubs.|
Before him stood the almighty fairy.
- DO NOT BE AFRAID, AINSLEY! Bellowed the fairy like a fat woman.
- I will be if you scream like that again.
- YOU SHALL TAKE THIS BOTTLE OF FAIRY AND WASH THE NATION'S DISHES! Exclaimed the fricking frightening fairy.
He set off, saw sun and rain, had happiness and pain, loss and gain, and sleeping on the drain. But all was not good after that. For he was cursed to live in the advert kitchen of Fairy until he died after he forgot to clean the plates of Wigan.
Thy ten washing up liquid commandments
In Victorian times, legend says that the descendant of sir Warshin-oop climbed up a hill and Thy Ten Washing Up Commandments appeared on a tablet of plastic.
- Thou shalt not spit oneth plate
- Thou shalt wash thoroughly
- Thou shalt not stress
- Thou shalt not maketh quotes like "Why don't I just get a dishwasher?"
- If thou in trouble, thou shalt pray to the almighty fairy
- THOU SHALT NOT USE THE FAIRY'S NAME IN VAIN
- Thou shalt not mention Hotpoint dishwashers to fairy
- Thou shalt scrub
- Thou shalt scrub harder
- And finallyeth, thou shalt not kill/mutilate plates and cutlery