Finland

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This isn't actually the coat of arms of Finland - in reality there's a lion on it - but no doubt this is some sort of hilarious Scandinavian visual pun.

Finland (Finnish: Jääläävaarjuustonnen Eino Ynnenen Pussi Juolainen Jokkanen Suomailanenanenen Jookkanen Käälääkkuosii Anen en enainen en ääää) is a bar for fish or people with fish fetishes, such as stickleback.

Finland rules at Eurovision and beating the crap out of biscuits. It's also the country where that gothic band with the guy with the feathers in his hair came from, who seem to have disappeared since 2004.

Finland Isn't Real.[edit]

Foundation[edit]

Finland was founded by really ugly fish who where tired of the best undersea jobs going to the prettier fish. As founder Mcfishogoth said "It's like you have to win a undersea beauty pageant just two get a job or a wife". The country expanded when more discriminated fish, including pacifist sharks, arrived looking for a safer and more tolerant place to live.

Spurdo Spärde[edit]

The ultimate expressive art form.

Spurdo Spärde, a poorly-drawn bear that appears to be the lovechild of internet meme figures 'pedobear' and 'sadfrog', is probably Finland's finest export. He can be applied in any situation and attracts adoration and disgust in equal measure whenever used.

“What the fug :DDDDD I havings quote in illogigopedia :DDDDDDDDD”

~ Spurdo Spärde on Spurdo Spärde

Finland in the Eurovisions[edit]

Eurovision, known as Täääööäyä Kaaraakaa in Finnish, has submitted its will to Finland. Since 1956, the beginning of Eurovision, Finland have won almost every contest, coming second only once to a Belgian singing panini.

Year Participated Position Song
1956 1st Katson Ja Öööö
1957 1st Paa Paa Paa Paa
1958 1st Nimeni on Närhi
1959 1st Slääääp a Dän
1960 1st Hyö Hyö Hyö, Hyä Hyä Hyä
1961 1st Taivaan Ja Taivaas
1962 1st Gjer
1963 1st Pälä Urnei
1964 1st Lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas
1965 1st Snymi On Ja Maa?
1966 1st Artturi Kannisto - Supermies
1967 1st Spurdo Spärde
1968 1st Kun Kellö Kornfläkks
1969 1st Äksä, Äksä
1970 1st Colori
1971 1st Suomiland, Suomiland, Suom Suom Suom Suomiland
1972 1st Bhattu-ässä
1973 1st Rock Gods™
1974 1st Sytytystulppa
1975 1st Lämpimämpi
1976 1st Juoksentelisinkohan?
1977 1st ääääääääääääääääääääääääää
1978 1st Hyppytyynytyydytys
1979 1st Vihdoin, Vihdoin, Vihdoin
1980 2nd Kuusi Palaa
1981 1st Reggae OK
1982 1st Hääyöaieuutinen
1983 1st Aaamu-palaveri-huone
1984 1st Aamupala-veri-huone
1985 1st Kuin Perseeseen Ammuttu Karhu
1986 1st Juosta?
1987 1st Tietokone
1988 1st KUULULULULULULUL
1989 1st Näähääähääähääähääähä
1990 1st Pukki Pukki Une Tukki
1991 1st Haista Vittu, snort
1992 1st Viedä Saunan Taakse
1993 1st Aima Puupihed
1994 1st Karrakakakuistan
1995 1st Kumnotai, Peeh Meh Kan
1996 1st Ei, Tippa tapa
1997 1st Kumarreksituteskenteleentuvaisehkollaismaisekkuudellisenneskenteluttelemattomammuuksissansakaankopahan
1998 1st Tyhjääääääääääääääääääää
1999 1st Yhdeksankymmentakolme
2000 1st Old Man Suomenjenkki
2001 1st Voi Voi, Voi Voi Olla Vanhaa
2002 1st Kaappausyitys
2003 1st Kokko, Kokoo Kokoon Koko Kokko
2004 1st ...
2005 1st I'm Getting Tired of making up Finnish words/finding them on the internet please help me get a life
2006 1st Ja Kirves
2007 1st Hallitus
2008 1st Äteritsiputeritsipuolilautatsi-baari
2009 1st Tule Luol
2010 1st Entokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas?
2011 1st Ok We'll Sing In English Now
2012 1st Lasken Vain Leikkiä
2013 1st BOUM-BOUM-BOUM
2014 1st Snärto
2015 1st *noises*
2016 1st Hennehen
2017 1st BlockBord
2018 1st cuz Finland is that good TBD

Basketball[edit]

Finland is not as good at basketball as Estonia or Canada. Those are two of the counties I live in. Norway is better then Estonia, but not as good as Finland. This is because of aliens which are from mars are trying to conquer Latvia, a country that has a landscape entirely made of old pesto.

I hate Finland for this reason. You shouldn't though, because you are a polar bear and at leas the country lowers taxes on white fur. Racists.

Language[edit]

Finnish (or Suomi, which makes the language sound like an alternative version of Sumo wrestling) is actually just a strange mix of Estonian, Turkish, Klingon and Russian, making it near impossible to read, let alone speak. Most citizens give up trying to learn it by the age of four.

See also[edit]