Free will

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“Free will? What's that? Some sort of Government conspiracy? Lies!”

~ Paranoid Pete

“Free will with every box”

~ Message on back of cornflakes packet

“Free will.. free will.. rock you! Indeed.”

Free will is currently rated as 87% excellent by 23% of people, 46% of whom believed they were predestined to answer in the way that they did and 54% of whom believed that they chose to answer in the way they did. In actual fact, 18% of them were predetermined to answer in the way that they did, 79% had free will initially but were later hypnotized, brainwashed or mind controlled into answering in the way they did and 7% actually said something else, but we wrote down the response that seemed relatively close. It's not our fault the poll questions didn't allow for a wider range of answers, we were victims of circumstance.

This does not include responses from the robotic population though with these government restrictions, you never know. The results of the survey were overseen by the evil ghost of spellchecking who exists to poke you in the eye and spit in the face of free will. In addition, 76% of people were being held at gunpoint whilst completing the questionnaire. 54 survived.

Free willy is also a sex line.

Dangit, I thought I was going to complete this article without resorting to sex jokes.

YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL[edit | edit source]

YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL

YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL

YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL

YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL

Dude, shut up and stop typing "YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL" it's getting annoying

I CAN'T - I HAVE NO FREE WILL EITHER.
Well, that sucks.

YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL

YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL

YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL

YOU HAVE NO FREE WILL

*bang!*

OMG WHY THE HECK DID YOU SHOOT ME!?

It was destiny. I had to, because I have no free will. >:-)

See also[edit | edit source]