IllogiNews:Headlines/2008
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| Jeremy | Farbleum | Arche | Arply | Aym | Yoon | Jumbly | Ergust | Serpeniver | Octodest | Novelniver | Ditzimber |
Ditzimber 2008[edit | edit source]
- Newsreporter records unorthodox Christmas greeting; subsequentially fired.
- The Illogicopedia Newsdesk wishes everyone a Happy Christmas: hundreds exclaim "meh".
- Insantatists once again emerge in their hordes to wreak havoc upon the unsuspecting public. People are urged to lock their alcohol cupboards.
- Some new, fierce and untamed creature is let loose on an unsuspecting world: THE WACKYPEDIA!!
- Bank owner kidnapped by aliens
- Woolworths, a British high street store since 1909, officially dies. R.I.P the dog and the sheep.
- Search is on to find the Top Ten Articles of
20081908. Users are once again urged to vote for their favourites. - On a perfectly ordinary day, a perfectly ordinary article was written. On this separate but likewise perfectly ordinary day, a link to said article was added, making this news column equally perfectly ordinary.
- Hermaphrodite impregnates itself when man says "Go screw yourself!"
- 'Tis the season to write classics! The Christmas Rockin' Article Pursuit competition is back for another festive season.
- Wikia offer a compromise regarding the old wiki. Users are once again urged to voice their opinion on the matter.
- Benedict Blade celebrates a year sice first edit!
- Big Brother strikes as Illogicopedia article deemed 'not offensive enough'. Wikipedia dudes issue statement
- Illogicopedia joins ranks of such popular sites as PornoTube and The Teletubbies Fanlisting in the top 2 million sites on the web
- Illogian Heritage Site restored to former glory. Old fogies pleased.
- IllogiNews hits a wall as the Economy goes into meltdown. Spokesperson: "It's very boring financial stuff".
- The Official Wikia Complaints Foundation set up their very own wiki
- The Final Round of The Gameshow is here! Testostereich, it's your turn!
- Popular social bookmarking site finally realises Illogicopedia has moved. Oh yeah, and Digg Illogic!
- RFK and Ben fix up the Main Page of the old wiki! Prepare to be both spewed on and shot by a wolverine.
- I is bored and out of ideas. Give me some cool ideas so I can make artikles.
- "It's the End of the World as we know it, and I feel fine!" A deluded maniac has his say, next.
- Reservations for Season 2 still open! 4 spaces left!
- After the long and slight delay, the gameshow resumes!
- Heated political debate rages at dilapidated W*kia scrap heap. Public (that's you) urged to pitch in with their thoughts.
Novelniver 2008[edit | edit source]
- Hey, punk. You're in my way. So move.
- Wikia is "Capitalism dressed as socialism"? Tribal elders have their say.
- New word enters dictionary. Onlookers exclaim: "meh".
- When a man loses his ear, he finds a...duck?
- Mad Moron Confederation wins mars by election
- Reports suggest Banana dissection becoming more popular amongst university undergraduates: bananas everywhere quake in their boots
- Pest exterminators wanted: apply within.
- Vote for the hippy on the roof!
- Vote for John McCain!
- Vote for Barack Obama!
- Trick or treat?
- Uncyclopedia plans a mutiny. Wikia ship sinking slowly.
- Article Detoxification plant opens for business, users encouraged to pitch in.
- Overflowing trash can becomes town attraction
Octodest 2008[edit | edit source]
- Soviet Cows deport IRC back to Eurasia
- Hilariously Spectacular death spawns literary giant
- I won't flower this up. Major talks are underway for big changes to Illogicopedia, a more "practical" solution to Illogicopedia Mark 2 has been suggested, discuss decide and then let's ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING this time.
- Fellating beach couple deported to noob work camp
- Cyber Research Systems sues Child Rebel Soldier over use of initials
- Amid controversy higher powers demand that you the viewer log onto IRC, and lurk for a while. Studies support the claim that this is awesome.
- Small town porn journal the "Illogiblog" experiences it's best month ever. Next stop, the Chicago Times.
- Escaped Psychologist baffles police with clever use of finger puppets. Elmo is reported to have condemned the proceedings, more on that story later..
- Major political upheaval as two major political parties undergo transformation. early reports suggests that the ensuing political crisis is intrinsically linked to the spread of foot and mouth in Pengland.
- Illogicopedia Big Wigs bring in the popular Cadbury's drumming gorilla, arousing the cheese.
- Another season of Big Brother being filmed for screen time sometime next year.
- Overflowing trash can becomes town attraction
Serpeniver 2008[edit | edit source]
- Forum:I'll ask the questions here! Update: "Kippers has bean eliminated. Now it's Testostereich's turn to
be eliminatedanswer." - The gameshow ends. (not the real competition, the article) Large Hadron Collider collides. Big whup.
- Veteran user declared insane after 3 months of isolation on IRC. If only someone would have joined him there (hint hint)
- OMG!! Wikipedia eats itself!!!!! 'Nuff said.
- Large concrete structure nears completion. The collaborated efforts of 3 builders put together.
- Drink! Drink! Drrrrrrrrrink! Arse! Feck! Feck off! Gobshite! Arse! Girls! Feck! Feck! Drrrrrrrrrink! That would be an ecumenical matter! Arse! More after these messages.
- Terminator cuts arm open, to much public astonishment and media speculation. A child is noted to have exclaimed: "Awesome!"
- The gameshow has begun. Let the games begin. Oh, and it's MMF's turn too.
- Ahoy there, mayteys! Shiver your timbers, for here be Internetitary Type Like A Pirate Day! Arr!
- Illogicopedia suffers sever animation after an economic downturn
- War is declared on Wikia
- Hitler rises from the grave, before hitting his head on the brim of his coffin, dying shortly after of massive hemmerhaging and a broken heart. today.
- Outer space turns into butter. A discussion having nothing to do with this event ensues.
- Scientists found out Y does not have three letters! IT HAS TWO!
- Illogicopedian Agony Aunt's drink is spiked, causing them to assault Oprah in front of a live studio audience. The court case will take place on Jeremy Kyle next winter
- Incest is believed to be behind lower user quality :P
Ergust 2008[edit | edit source]
- Illogicopedia's Pickle judges finally get off their buttocks and judge the darn thing. Many annoyed they didn't win.
- Illogicopedia introduces loading screens! Users pissed!
- The war on Wiki Markup is finally over!
- Veteran administrator comes back from self proclaimed summer of love. Quickly draws up an informative yet testicular article about "trampolining" before asking for what all the hub-bub is all about?
- Vandal attacks during hour of admin absence, Some What stays up late reverting edits, attains star,and so does some other user, also getting star. non-UK admin possibilities being discussed.
- Beware! The external links broke out of a jail cell just the udder day!
- Breaking news! Osama captured.
- Rolling your head on the keyboard declared more epic fail than Kaboomy!
- Kaboomy article declared epic fail!
- Kaboomy!
- Garry Sanchez, the bafta award winning director releases his new smash hit movie: Parsnips anyone?
- Large concrete structure you second rate high street store female dogs! Gene lovers need not apply.
- Fans queue for hours to buy the new album "Toadstools" by Arkaso.
- Man sky-dives without a parachute. His descent is slowed by ad revenue.
- Time paradox baffles scientists for ages. Many of them have to sit down and dunk a biscuit in their tea.
- Time for a nice piece of meat between two slices of bread. We'll be back right after this. Mmmmmmm... tasty
- Never say never? Never! Oh wai...
- Local children announce "The sandbox is here!" Parents concerned about toxicity of sand.
- Apocopedia is finally created. Join now!
- Russia has a war with Georgia. Soup bombing is in progress!
- There's a hole in my bucket.
- OH NO IT'S NOT!
- Local town under attack from an outbreak of pedanticism. Several head explosions occured but a few days later
- Recent Yale study reports that stupidy may lower brain capacity
- Time For an IllogiNews Article (apparently)
- Wikia amateur dramatics prompt users to say: "It's pantomime season"
- OH YES IT IS!
- OH NO IT ISN'T!
- Twin towers re-erect under mysterious circumstances. Duke of Edinburgh suspects Al Fayed.
- Mutant potato shape attacks man, 42. Onlookers 'mashed'.
Jumbly 2008[edit | edit source]
- Something happens, er, hold on...
- Fun declared illegal by government in a statement made in the House of Commons today.
- Somebody finally answers the phone at ITV's call-in competition HQ.
- Self reference permeates the modern media, according to reports
- After hours of panic, it emerges Mischiefpedia was temporarily down due to frogs in the Editthis server.
- Veteran news reporter and part time male genital takes a creative break. ?Media expected to bankrupt two days later :P
- After 10 years of scientific study, and 17 gallons of sweat, the cake is found to be a lie.
- Illogiland 3.0 has been announced and is to be released soon.
- Guy interviews self. Kills 3 in rage. And himself. That makes 4.
- The U.S. Presidential election heats up. Global Warming scapegoated.
- UN Discussion on image placement becomes heated as defects herald
- Wikipedia deletes all record of Illogicopedia from the history books
- Move to secure Illogicopedian independence put on hold due to economical fears. Cynics ready their type-writers
- Illogicrat manifesto divides opinions
- Now for the weather. Over to you, Tom
- Public forum on the state of the EPIC template continues. Work expected to cause flight delays
- former Middle-Eastern diplomat 'RFK' sets up his own dictatorship
- Doctors discover a frog inside a man's ear! With eggs!
- Zombie Trucks invade England. But nobody cares, 'cos it's not Canada
- Sociolololologists believe Illogiland will soon drift into the midst of anarchy. Tony pleased.
- And you thought British summertime was bad!?!?!
- For those of you who feel that tanks have gotten too butch lately
- THE bA jIBBLE pARTY: We force house prices lower than ever!!!
- One thousand monkeys land on boy's keyboard! Boy gets A+ on poetry assignment!
- Illogicopedia nears The Very Very End of our association with Wikia Inc.
- Illogicopedia set to sever ties with Wikia over Monaco
- 10-year old listens in on stupid conversation, gets messed up for life
- Illogiland blows up, local residents declared non existent
- The mountain goat falls on top of Peter Scott of Yorkshire, PC Plod starts investigation
- Government Agents lose 20ft elephant on a train
- Now anyone can do chores... on the Internet!
- uosɐǝɹ ʇuǝɹɐddɐ ou ɹoɟ uʍopǝpısdn ʎluǝppns ʇxǝʇ
Yoon 2008[edit | edit source]
- Tired of looking for the right place to discuss something? Go here instead!
- Illogicopedia gold star system relaunched due to Budget cuts.
- Illogicopedia welcoming committee formed, calls for new members. Informative Doormats set to join in mass Exodus
- Binclin changed his name to Huge bob. I'm just informing you
- Silent Penguin: this is your
lifefish - Stupendously trivial thing happens
- Shock developments in hell - Satan holds press conference
- Stuff happens. Many lives confused
- Dudes, wha, wha, what? I am sooo high right now dude! Now over to Terry for the Weather
- Statistics suggest Steroid rain is bad for you! Athletes beg to differ.
- The IRC Illogic Quote Database needs your help after it was hit by a hurricane from the mid-west yesterday!
- Cops stake out new spot, assure the public that under-cover work in the donut shop is essential to prevent terrorism
- News at 3: BEDTIME!
- They have come to invade your so-called "computers", have bananas at hand and get ready for whore. More on that after a brief look with Jasmine at the local spoon crime....
- Rock crashes into India, dude finds it and writes book about it. J.K. Rowling sues.
- The Illogiblog is overhauled with Web 2yness. Onlookers exclaim "ooh look, a toenail"
- Monte Carlo set to overtake the wiki for no reason whatsoever. Illogicopedians are urged to rebel against this forthcoming evil
- Idiots queue until midnight awaiting the release of Invasion of Illogiland, the newest game from The Illogic Company
- Jojo Randomise announces part-time
job at mcdonaldsillogicopedia re-entry! - IllogiNews Desk Extends to 24/7. Employees Quit After Basic Pillow Rights Are Denied.
- Blue is what you might've thought it was. But no. It's really a mime. I think.
- Wikia servers begin to emit sticky fruity substance, dudes in lab coats summoned to investigate using Harry Potter Satanic child-corrupting witchcraft.
- IllogiNews undergoes transformation. Your thoughts are welcome.
- One racist hoodlum is banned after an article called "nigga" is published, he will be burnt in the fires of hell, along with those Armenians
- Scientists discover
siuhgiudrheiuehnfiurfbhuebesfikewfiuewbibaseuidgb wheioujefrkwehibweiushianosdinfkibsodifbeklubekfu bieujhewukefhnkuwefbeufkhawuifheoiahnoefihnfaoifb efuiobaowhnesfouihefouasdbudfhndsuoibuifobfiousfb hosaduihnsdfoiueabofifahnofibubfiufbiafudbiubeuif biuafbfouiafukfbukfbubfiufsbiusdfbauibfifuaaskdnl knaflakfnldksndalkjnsdlkadnlkasjlakfjhnalskjladks nhsldkjasdlksidnjsdjasldkdslkisdjlksdfhdsknasljkd auaaisnoasdinhadionfibadoihnadwoaifnoiafwhnowaihn adfoiadwhnoiawfhnawfuhwadfuioafdhnoawihnwadoidahn aiowhnowaihnwiodnafoihsnioasuhnasdouabdsuaoidhnaism - HelloolleH pokes his massive head round Illogicopedia's door to tell of IRONMAN, the greatest hero never invented.
- Scientists of Cheesology (not to be confused with Cheeses of Scientology) reveal the Daily Mail to contain three point one four times the daily cheese allowance recommended by World Wrestling Entertainment Inc.
- Who's the best around? No one's a gonna keep me down!
- The Chief Editor of the Daily Mail Newspaper was attacked by a white middle-class heterosexual man today, and subsequentially killed. Street party!
Aym 2008[edit | edit source]
- Screw what I said earlier, see you guys on Wednesday. (Testostereich)
- Gun crime rages in the vegetable community.
Government surveys concluded today, that Testostereich has been called to enter the outside world, he'll be back later. Just like, categorize and format your own pages from now on.- Diet Queen Gilian McKeith is caught with a horse in an uncompromising position, she claims that she was getting one of her five a day. The whole nation collectively cringes
- News template has become a cheap way for writers to promote their latest work--such as this new article by THE!
- Anyone want to play a nice good game of cards?
- Daleks invade, King declares state of emergency.
- Much debating occurs on the Illogicopedia.
- A parody of Roonscape comes to ?pedia, currently, you can only play the knight story mode!
- There is officially no point crying over spilled milk (VFF back up)
- VFF packs up, leaving one despairing user to point out that an article has been nommed despite not showing up. Critics claim that this isn't even really news. Critics later informed to STFU
- Small Brrother begins.
- The 4000th Illogicopedian article stakes it's claim. The few who have remained applaude politely
- Summer lovin' affects many contributors to the site known as Illogicopedia. Ooh yeah.
- Memoirs of the duck that was locked in a cellar for 24 years is released today. Online surveys predict that the sales will suplex the likes of Harry Potter and The Lion, the Witch and The Wardrobe. Duck's Uncle sentenced to death, blames overbearing News Title.
- Man lives an uneventful life
- Illogicopedia arrested for JFK shanking, pleades there were too little witnesses (users) around to force a verdict. Court attendant rates trial "not bad"
- Two bearded gentlemen were questioned earlier today over the alleged symbolism used in an attempt to confuse the simple-minded ruling classes
- Wales publishes 12 point plan to improve welfare conditions and Anglo-Wales relations across the country. England tells them to shut up and make them a sandwich.
- We will, we will, ZAP you!
- Earth Day goes underway, oil companies complain that "Greenpeace is cheating, no-fair"
- Biological Hazard escapes from lab
- Widespread Bowel explosions! Er, I mean...yeah, bowel explosions.
- Surprisingly an article lacking in length infiltrates illogicopedia. Seppy blames immigrants.
- No one wants gardens anymore. They simple don't want them. It's sad really. They're dead, goodbye to the little pockets of nature.
- Illogicopedia Statistics report that science is just another scheme by the government. This may or may not be due to their close-to-failing grade in a Wikia-wide science class. OR IS IT?
- Users in need of awardings fester on the sofa! Fluffalizer exclaims: "Conspiracies! Kittens!" Aw, forget that. Just go and vote at Illogicopedian of the Month.
- Economy collapses. Fat Tony pleads "Where is the money?"
- Wikia turns us all into IP users again
Arply 2008[edit | edit source]
- This day in 1975: 'fonurblafulation' first used in the Oxford English dictionary. It is found to be a typo of 'fonurflabulation' and remedied in the subsequent issue.
- THE writes a story called Party Time! and links to it from the main page as a cheap way of trying to convince people to read it
- Follow My Instructions
- ASEMA's BACK!
- The Repetitives collection has grown again – sanctuary for persecuted repetitions new and old alike, it's the page that you can plaster with repetiveness; go nuts!
Arche 2008[edit | edit source]
- Take the Survey! Shiver me timbers!
- Earth hour disaster... READ MORE
- [iSod is launched like a bat out of hell]
- Bye for a bit
- That Christmas writing contest from 1,000 years ago is now Null & Void. Happy Easter! Check out the unrecognised but still great chrstmassy articles. Any VFHs for them going?
- The Illogicopedian Swear Jar is officially opened. Two minutes later it retires, a solid gold tycoon
- Wikipedia denies that Illogicopedia exists! The fiends!
- A Texan kills a people for personal gain, then tries to cover it up
- Thats Numberwang!
- A Peanut Is Dropped By An Overweight Ghost!
- The Gherkins are over. Await the final verdict
- Another project article is formed - on the spur of the moment. Anyone could, should, would and frould add to it. Now, uhh, SCHLAGG!
- Let's play pong!
- Toby says bye bye AGAIN. "I have better things to do in life" he says
- The news section sinks very slightly under this link
- IllogiNews:Infamous Douche "Testicles" announces that after a long campaign his pickle is finally ready. A tumble weed rolls by
- MAD LYRICS AHOY! ILLOGIMUSIC FINALLY AFTER 2 MONTHS IS LAUNCHED!
- It's the insane story that anyone can edit!
- THE FONCH IS CROWNED BIG BRROTHER CHAMPION! MMF IS RUNNER UP!
- Hey Did U Miss Out On Big Brrother Then Becum A Contestant On Small Brrother jus click here
- Articulartastic overhaul! Also, review system in place, though its info and entry listing is not wholly fleshed out yet.
- A vandal attempts to put a curse on us. Consequently, Kippers redirected it to the real cursed article, and will now die in seven days.
- New Poolitical Party
- The bladester makes a shock announcement
- CONTESTANTS WANTED
- CONTESTANTS WANTED
- h4xx0r3d!!
- Illogicopedia gets its first ever decent scare. And i'm not kidding.
- Staff wanted apply here
- HelloMetalReich has fallen, it was going to happen at somepoint, and it has. Yeah. Pretty much it. Enjoy sucking your lemons people!
- IMPORTANT: ABUSE REPORT. PLEASE COMMENT.
- Die Deutsche French Chipmunk chef from hell is here. Actually that's a pretty mint tune.
- The United Kingingdom correctifies the instititutionalised
- DO YOU HAVE ANY GOOD QUOTES YOU WANNA DONATE THEN VISIT QUOTES OF BRAININESS AND PUT IT ON! THANKS.
- Another change in the Department of Limelight... Illogicopedian of the Month is upon us.
Farbleum 2008[edit | edit source]
- Do you know your alphabet?
- C'MON EVERYONE! BIG BRROTHER'S OPEN AND YOU CAN VOTE FOR THE HOUSEMATE YOU WANT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE!
- S&M (Skittles and M&Ms) hits Illogicopedia
- Finally, the german show reaches illogic. Quick! Ban all users under 18 - it's graphic :P
- IllogiNews reads out letters from a couple of readers
- That's Amore!
- Little Red Riding Hood gets PWNd
- BIG BRROTHER HAS CHANGED ITS STARTING DATE TO TTHE 25TH JANUARY.
- PLEASE READ, urgent
