Justice Heroes of America

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The Justice Heroes of America are a superhero team of metahuman or mutant superpowered authors that protect the world (and America in particular) from evil, particularly the evil of the international supervillain syndicate "Mainstream". They have been described as the 20th and 21st century successors of the ancient "Justice Friends" superhero team, who in turn were based on the prehistoric "Justice Best Buddies" superhero team.

The "of America" part of the name makes no sense because most of them are actually British. Their full official name is actually "The Justice Heroes of Anglo-America" and whenever their full name is written out, the "Anglo-" is actually there, just to microscopically small to see because British people don't matter because they're not Americans.

Current Members[edit | edit source]

Member abilities[edit | edit source]

Aldous Huxley[edit | edit source]

Aldous Huxley has mysterious telepathic abilities that enable him to cause people's brains to naturally generate the hallucinogenic compound "Soma", thus incapacitating them. He seems capable of doing this to one person or to an entire planet at will. Has been described as the Aquaman (DC Comics) of the group.

Ayn Rand[edit | edit source]

Ayn Rand has non-mystical objectively-valued asskicking powers. She also finances the group's operations with the money she earned herself but does so just because she feels like it, not because it will do the world any good. Screw the world. This makes her sort of like the Batman (DC Comics) of the group. She is also remarkable for being the only genuinely American member of the team .... oh wait, she was Russian. Dang, there really is no jusifying the name of this thing, is there?

C. S. Lewis[edit | edit source]

C. S. Lewis has the magical ability to summon demons and other mythical creatures to fight evil. He also has a bigass sword, so don't mess with him. Has been described as being like the Thor (Marvel Comics) of the group.

George Orwell[edit | edit source]

George Orwell's special ability is remote viewing by extra-sensory perception. He's watching you, spying on you, all the time. He can read people's minds and see everything. And also confuse people with doublethink. Has been described as being like the Martian Manhunter (DC Comics) of the group.

Richard Dawkins[edit | edit source]

Richard Dawkins has the superpower of making real things disappear in a puff of logic by proving that they do not exist, even when they clearly do. Or did, until they confronted Richard Dawkins. Then they ceased to exist. Scientifically.

Has been described as a good-guy alternate version of Doctor Psycho (DC Comics) but not by reliable sources. [citation needed]

Isaac Asimov[edit | edit source]

Isaac Asimov is actually a robot. This makes him indestructible. His one weakness is an inability to cause harm, which makes him somewhat useless in a fight, but absolutely vital on rescue missions. Has been described as being rather like the Red Tornado (DC Comics) of the group.

Elseworlds versions[edit | edit source]

The African American equivalent of the Justice Heroes of America on "Not Racist Earth" is called "The Justice Homies." They were featured in one obscure comic book one time in a failed attempt to appeal to black readers. It failed because blacks can't read. (HAHA RACIST JOKE LUL)

In other media[edit | edit source]

The Justice Heroes of America were recently featured in the console fighting game, "Unjustified: Authors Among Us" and a LEGO version is due out in the Fall.