Mauritania

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A map of North Africa. Mauritania is unlabeled because no one quite knows where it is.

“Where?”

~ You

Mauritania is a West African country that no one knows about, except, obviously, for Mauritanians. Peoples of countries neighboring Mauritania aren't even aware of its existence for they believe there is simply an empty void where it belongs. In all reality, it borders Mali and a bunch of other equally irrelevant countries.

“We were relevant enough to be used in the example!”

~ Mali in protest of their "irrelevant" label

Mauritanian Geography

A picture of the desert in Mauritania. In the distance, you can see your will to continue fade away.

“Where did you say?”

~ Man with a doctorate in African geography

Mauritanian is a flat, flat, indescribable land that very few people have seen. It is extremely easy to access, it's just that no one has any desire to see it.

“Or... they're BLIND!”

~ Reginald Stanley, Vice President of The National Association for the Inclusion of Blind People in All Examples

In the North, there is some deserted desert. Since the desert shows no real distinction from any other part of the Saharan desert, it adds to the forgetability of Mauritania. In the South, there are probably some grasslands and hills, but no one has ever made it that far due to the sheer boredom that sets in when getting through the Mauritanian desert.

“I would have made it if it weren't for those meddling kids!”

~ Senile man who nearly made it to the Southern part of Mauritania.

Cities include buildings and people like any other city. Their names are beyond me. The capital is... something unpronounceable. No-wack-chut? Nevermind.

“It's pronounced... Okay, you've got me.”

~ Linguist with specialty in African languages.

Mauritanian Politics

The typical ballot from a Mauritanian election. Since it would be a blind guess anyway, the names of the politicians running are replaced with question marks. Normally, people vote for the blank space at the bottom.

“The best kind of politics there are!”

~ Sarcastic political analyst who does not understand subject-verb agreement

The political landscape of Mauritania is almost as forgettable as the actual landscape of the country. It consists of candidates you've never heard of in pursuit of positions you've never heard of, which, come to think of it, sounds a lot like any other foreign country.

That being said, the irrelevance of Mauritanian politics far outweighs the irrelevance of say... Kyrgyzstan's politics.

“We appreciate being mentioned.”

~ Kyrgyzstan

Mauritanian Contributions to the World

Mauritania's 3rd most important contribution to the world.

“I've got nothin'.”

~ Author of Contributions of Northwest African Countries

Although it may lack relevancy in politics, geography, and everything, Mauritania has surely changed the world in some way. *researches* After brief research, it has been discovered that this article, is in fact, the most important contribution to the world from Mauritania.

“I seriously doubt that.”

~ Someone who has any sort of intelligence mental disabilities

This article slightly outweighs the Uncyclopedia article about Mauritania (that I'm not quite sure how to link to). It also slightly beats out Mauritania's brief Wikipedia page... in comparison to, say, any other country's Wikipedia page.

Famous Mauritanians

An example of a famous Mauritanian.

“There was this one guy who did that one thing at that one time.”

~ Mauritanian biographer being extremely vague

Excluding people who are famous in Mauritania, some famous Mauritanians are... Excuse me. There are definitely some, I mean...

Well, I guess that save for a few presidents and whatnot, there aren't any famous Mauritanians at all.

“Well, it seems I'll being getting my Mauritanian citizenship in order to claim the title of a Famous Mauritanian.”

~ Actor featured in one or two toothpaste commercials

Mauritanian Culture

Mauritanian people being Mauritanian.

“They do... things... right?”

~ Sociologist studying in Mauritania

Mauritanians are known to do such not-worth-mentioning activities as eating, drinking, breathing, sleeping, farming, and some occasional talking. They are known for being the most overly generic African country.

“Finally.”

~ Burkina Faso on after hearing that they're no longer the most generic African country

Some pastimes popular in Mauritania are:

  • Being Mauritanian
  • Being Mauritanian while standing
  • Being Mauritanian while sitting
  • Being Mauritanian while breathing
  • Not being Mauritanian (on opposite day)

“Wait, does that mean Mauritania is relevant on opposite day?”

~ Man asking a question that's answer is no

So anyway, I hope you learned something about Mauritania (because I certainly didn't teach anything about it).

If you would like to learn anymore information about Mauritania, please check yourself into a mental institution.