Munsters that live under your bed
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Contrary to what your mother said, there are Munsters that live under your bed.
Types of Munsters[edit | edit source]
- Irish Munster – By far the most common Munster, the Irish Munster comes out on St. Patrick's Day. If you were hiding a whisky under your bed and it disappeared, now you know where it went.
- German Münster – The German Münster devours sausages voraciously. It is less excessive than the Irish Münster, but will still drink alcholic beverages, its preference being beer. This Munster is becoming rarer due to the preference today's youths have for stronger beverages.
- French Munster – Actually a type of cheese, the French Munster probably prefers wine to drink, though it does itself taste good with wine. Having one of these under your bed may prove profitable, because naturally occurring under-bed French Munsters are rare. Signs that a French Munster has taken up residence include cigarette ash and berets lying around your bedroom.
- American Muenster – A mutant variety only distantly related to the French Munster described above, the American Muenster was a result of some genetic experimentation gone horribly wrong. If you should be unfortunate enough to have one under your bed, do not approach it, instead, call your local deli and they will send qualified professionals round to handle it.
Remember, Munsters that live under your bed are not pets. They are still wild, and should be treated as such. Most Munsters do not pose a direct threat, so it should not be necessary to move, unless you have a particularly dangerous American Muenster, or in the case of Ian Paisley visiting and an Irish Munster living under your bed. Do not feed Munsters that live under your bed, or they may grow in size and turn what used to be your province into New Munster.
Please note that if you live in any place called Munster, it is perfectly normal to have a Munster under your bed, though it may no longer be living.