New York City
| This was written by a native New Yorker, so I'm not trying to be hateful |
Ahh... New York City. A great place. Except the fact that if you fall on the street, people will simply walk on top of you but that's okay.
Location[edit | edit source]
New York City is located in... New York (if that weren't obvious...). It is pretty close to New Jersey[1].
No, it isn't[edit | edit source]
No, New York City is not the capital of New York. That's Albany. Yes, what the hell is Albany, right? It's this place that in no way deserves it's capital-hood. You gonna eat that?
Landmarks[edit | edit source]
There's the Statue of Liberty[2], the Empire State Building[3], Time Square [4]. You can also go to Central Park[5] or the Bronx Zoo[6]
Sports[edit | edit source]
In New York City, you can visit many sporting events. The teams that play here are the Yankees[7], the Muts I mean Mets[8], the Dicks I mean Knicks[9], and the Rangers.[10] Yeah... Just drive south to a place called East Rutherford where all of the good and not douchebag New York teams are...
Food[edit | edit source]
Probably the biggest highlight of New York. Of course New York didn't event pizza but they invented sliced pizza. Because eating a pizza whole just seems awkward.
Other Stuff and a Conclusion[edit | edit source]
So if you're visiting New York City, nothing will happen much[11]. You could I don't know, actually see the sights[12] and walk around[13] and see the shitty I mean city. There is Harlem[14], Brooklyn[15], Queens[16], the Bronx[17], and of course there is Staten Island but nothing really happens there other than... I don't really know.
- ↑ Pfft. New Jersey
- ↑ Which isn't really going inside because it's just a billion stairs just to see a few you can see from your hotel.
- ↑ Which luckily has elevators.
- ↑ You can be on the Today Show! Yay!
- ↑ Which in all reality is just a big place with trees
- ↑ Which is out of the list is the only place that's really worth visiting because they have a lot of crap
- ↑ *sticks up middle finger*
- ↑ Though I am a die-hard Met fan
- ↑ Which are only worth watching if your favorite team is in town
- ↑ Um... What can I say about them?
- ↑ unless of course you get picked up by the Cash Cab
- ↑ Discouraged
- ↑ or call a cab
- ↑ advice: PACK HEAT
- ↑ Nothing much happens
- ↑ If you want too live there for some reason
- ↑ To see the Yanks or to play some pick-up basketball and risk getting shot (same advice as Harlem)