“If Inri Cristo is Almighty God, then why does He only speak Portuguese?”
The origin of such a freak of nature is a secret not yet solved. One hypothesis is that scientists studying the Portuguese arise from the mania that the Portuguese have to talk about other people's lives, growing the infamous organ. Fueled by the proteins of malice and lack of what to do provided by the constant gossip, Portuguese increases in size until no longer fit in the mouth, as seen in the picture. Another hypothesis is that the Portuguese, frustrated by not having language (to be embarrassingly small) use the penis enlargement device on his atrophied muscle, but just exaggerating.