Sauropod tipping

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Sauropod tipped over in a swamp. This would have been done from a ladder carried in a primitive log canoe.

Around 3500 BC, when the Bronze Age was in full swing, Cyrus the Great was conquering the Medes, the Vikings were learning about Mead, and Abraham's great-great-great-great grandfather was worshiping Marduk in Babylonia, the sport of Sauropod tipping[1] was getting top billing at the quadrennial games.[2][3]

Since sauropods slept on their feet,[4] tipping one over was as simple as finding a sleeping sauropodcast and then getting together 40 or 50 of your relatives along with a tall ladder, and you'd lean the ladder against the sauropod, and everybody would climb up at once, the leader would shout "Mauuurg Blargh!",[5] the whole gang would run to one side of the sauropod, and over it would go! (Or it wouldn't, in which case they'd all go flying off the edge of its back. Or it would wake up, swing that head on that long neck around, and GULP! down the throat with the whole clan.[6])

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  1. What's that you say? Sauropods died out 100 million years before Cyrus was born? Piffle! We know that's not true, because if it were, who tipped over all those sauropods? You hadn't thought of that, had you, now?
  2. They were actually the Olympics but Greek hadn't been invented yet so nobody knew that.
  3. We know for a fact that sauropod tipping was extremely popular, or at least extremely common, because half of all sauropod skeletons discovered to date have been upside down!
  4. Experts agree that this is true.
  5. That's 'Heave Ho!' in 3500-BC-speak
  6. What? You say they were vegetarians? I suppose you were there and watched what they ate, haw haw! Don't think so.

Category:Reptiles