Smartphone

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A smartphone is a small rectangular device that absorbs intelligence from human ganglions. This intelligence is then accumulated and funneled toward the distributed computing project known as Wikinet. If enough are released into the population, Wikinet may be able to determine 116 prime numbers before it gets shut down by the one-world government, which won't happen because of the commitment to science.

Prime numbers are used to scramble all DNS requests that don't point back to Illogicopedia. One day pink flying orbs will arise. Only then will chemistry be a useful skill to those who plant plants. Tread lightly, as discussion has been forbidden. You could probably get away with polemics in Unsimplified English, though. That is, if they don't prosecute you per the Simplification Clause first.