The Terminator

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"Come with me if you want to live".


The Terminator was an insanely unpopular b-movie, criticized by critics for its factual content and lack of imagination. It remains the most accurate glimpse of the future to date, and people the world over live their lives in fear as a result. It has been made into a TV series, sequel movie and theme park ride.

Things we learn from The Terminator[edit]

  1. Super robot killing machines can be stopped by electric shock and removing its chip with pliers.
  2. When trying to get girls in highschool, getting a scratch on your forehead and then sitting quietly on the grass works wonders. Damn it, why didn't I think of that?
  3. Killer robots are HOT when female in appearance.
  4. It's normal for a young teenage boy to have a hot robot girl who will do his every command and not want her to take her clothes off 24-7.
  5. Terminators can be pretty nice if they know ballet.
  6. Is better to waste hours writing cryptic clues in blood than actually getting help after being shot, only to come crashing through the window and gargle the same things again and die.
  7. Despite being made for combat, a Terminator's chip can be damaged by a shrapnel sent flying by an explosion which didn't even burn her clothes or skin off.
  8. If a bomb blows up in your face, shrapnel will fly in the back of your head. Logical?
  9. You can plug a 30th century piece of computer equipment into a run-of-the-mill USB port and Windows will actually detect and use it. Even more amazing, you can just unplug said piece of computing equipment from the USB port without ejecting it first and it won't have data corruption.
  10. That female liquid terminator waited there for that guy to unzip his zipper...
  11. You can lose a lot of blood without losing consciousness
  12. Broken bones heal in about a week
  13. Get off this planet

Terminator Sex[edit]

Live with me if you want to come.

"I need your clothes, your boots, your motorcycle and your love. Come with me if you want to live..." Ahh, if only the writers had been a little more forward thinking; I'd loved to have seen that movie! I wonder if during sex a Terminator would make the USB ping sound "down there"....

See also[edit]