Unholy Rampage

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“Wait, wut?!”

~ André Breton on this article

Wringing his hands out with blood, the pope loads up the pimppope-mobile and switches on the Black Sabbath tape. He drives slowly to some heathens before stopping and shooting them with excommunication beams.

Doing 80 on the autobahn the man with the snazzy hat and cold religious heart happens to spot his destiny. The pope mobile swerves out of control and the throne is emptied - seatbelts were left out of the design plan.

Pope My Ride[edit | edit source]

Ever since his tragic death the pope has offered advice to loveable characters on television. Being a pocessed condom machine however, he wasn't taken too seriously. He briefly had his own show "Pope My Ride" in which he would steal married couples' cars and plant condoms in the glove compartment.

After being arrested for mistaken balloon storage allegations the Pope was tortured by being an aid in preventing contraception. Having been emptied by playboy thieves Mr Blobby's frustration was directed into the pope's face. Being severely dented and discouraged the Pope's funny hat was taken away for questioning - eye witnesses swear the officer later wore it to guffaws of fellow officers and an awed hush from disgusted catholics.

Somehow through camera-trickery, false evidence and a beard the pope graduated to a Jamie Oliver approved vending machine, thus taking charge, for the final time, of the Catholic religion.

Discussing Worldly Issues like Grown-Ups[edit | edit source]

Becoming confused the pope declared war on everyone and grew horns. Making a viscous wall paper paste from his enemies the pope was whipped excessively by an incensed member of Peter's Pickled Piping Hot Pickable Paste! - For walls!. Dejected the pope was later killed by a biug hammer and the rapture.

Some Random Lyrics I like[edit | edit source]

Well I been watchin
While you been coughin
Ive been drinking life
While you been nausous
And so I drink to health
While you kill yourself
And I got just one thing
That I can offer

Ducks Rule[edit | edit source]

Experts have proved that Qwack Qwack Qwackety Qwack! Amen Brother!