User:Bagelman/The Adventures of Genericfirstname Genericlastname

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Genericfirstname G. Genericlastname was a normal idiot living in the northern ghetto of Eastenborg. One day he got shot, as often happens in the ghetto, he got shot. Wait, that's redundant.

Whatever. This is their stor- I mean his story.

Working title

Chapter 1

It was a rainy and sunny morning in Eastenborg. Our pathetic excuse for a hero gets out of his poorly constructed bed, runs down his staircase, and slams into the same wall he does every single morning.

The vibrations from this collision cause a priceless teapot to break in his neighbor's straw hut. The teapot was worth a medium sack of cash, and now his neighbor's net worth was only around 20 Bagels. He cries for 4 months, 28 days, 7 hours, 45 minutes, and 31 seconds. The loss of money means he will never be able to by that "new" 1995-ish used car for his daughter, which means his daughter will never die in a horrible car accident involving a turkey sandwich, which means she will become the President of Elassintia and start a war against her parents for not buying her that car she wanted

Chapter 2 I thought this story was about this Genericfirstname guy, not these clowns.

I'll have you know those neighbors are some of the most respectful people I have ever met! The evil communist liberal satanist media might say otherwise, but who cares about what those idiots say.

Anyway, sorry about that distraction. Genericfirstname went downstairs to his kitchen, which was constructed entirely out of bathroom towels, and ate a bowl of cereal with water. He then put on his gorilla costume and walked down to his job at the local dentist office. This was going to be a pretty big day, there where a lot of patients and a lot of kids penciled in for today. Genericfirstname would have to focus and make sure he minimized his mistakes. You don't want to make mistakes when your dealing with kids.

When he arrived at the dentist office, he put on a white coat and gathered up all his stuff. At that instant, he was ready...

Chapter 3 Apparently this Genericfirstname person is a dentist. Carry on.

..to be the guy who gives out free stuff to kids on their way out!!

Wait, you thought he was the dentist?! Are you stupid or something? Everybody knows that "a white coat" is Eastenborg slang for "a clown costume", and I don't think doing dental work in a dirty clown costume would be professional.