User:Flyingcat/lies

From Illogicopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

The lies are a collection of random strings of words taken from various sources; IRC, wikis I hang around (or used to hang around, as the case may be) too much, my head, books, popular culture of one sort or another, misquotations of all the above, and various websites that are probably copyrighted. In other words, it is a ripoff of Athyria's {{madness}}.

It may or may not be justified by the category.

Justified or no, it does have a purpose. It is a set of puzzle pieces to an unknown puzzle, a thoroughly and perpetually incomplete set, but an important one nonetheless: the puzzle is the truth (or a shadow of it, or a shadow of a shadow, or an infinitely recursive shadow -- no one knows for sure). The truth, its shadows and the shadows of its shadows have many pieces, many of them senseless, many of them impossible to find; but to find them and spin them into golden fabric is our task.

You may ask, why it it called 'the lies' if it is the truth? Lies are the shadows and reflections of truth. They may look the same, but they are devoid of colour (in the case of the shadows) or turned in the wrong direction (in the case of reflections), and yet they can be hard to tell from that which the light has copied its figure. Then there are the shadows of shadows and the reflections of reflections, and they may be truth, lies or something else altogether, similarly to how an infinitesimal divided by another infinitesimal may be infinitesimal, finite but not infinitesimal, or infinite; and these shadow-shadows and reflection-reflections are difficult even to see, never mind to classify. This incomplete and badly fitting puzzle claims to be the truth, but it may contain a good deal of things that aspire or pretend to be truth but are not truth (similarly to food items that 'may contain' milk, peanuts, or some such potential allergen): our vision for these things is not as sharp as our vision for physical things; we are very far-sighted.

Illogicopedia is a shadow of what was once a shadow but has now split into a confused, vicious demon and a bitter, muddy angel. Underneath the shadows of shadows, and the reflections of reflections, we venture into the depths of the looking-glass, and travel the road to the place behind the curtain. Perhaps we will never get there. It is infinitely far away, after all.

The list, in all its scraggly unglory and in no particular order (though the only order it has ever known), is the following:

[edit]

This is not a sentence.

I am lying.

This sentence makes no sense.

This is not information, and as such is not designed to tell you anything. Because it is not so designed, it must not be of an informative nature, as it is not designed to carry information, and therefore must not contain any, if it is fulfilling its purpose correctly.

This is complete rubbish so you ought to skip over it.

This sentence is content-free and contains 32% fewer calories.

Beware the muffins. They bite.

The moon is made of green cheese.

Where is the cat?

The only strange thing about Illogicopedia is that if you are bitten by a vampire, you are far more likely to become a werewolf or a zombie than a vampire; and if you are bitten by a werewolf, you can only become a phantom. Though perhaps it really does make sense, because all vampires are also werewolves, and werewolves can somehow kill you... but phantoms are not really dead; they are only wrapped in a white sheet with eye holes.

Add logic and you lose the mycobacterium.

Easier to say mountain than to go over it.

This was all just a dream... a nightmare. A beautiful and horrifying nightmare.

Steady blows break the stone.

Stop asking me for clues man, I'm just an article.

Wikia sucks.

Give me choice or give me death!

Wikipedia sucks.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Beware! Weasels are not stretched mice!

Unleash the furry!

How will you blank it if you're banned?

We were designed to endure excess amounts of pain. For users who like to inflict it.

O Lord, this is injustice.

My dick is notable.

Are you there?

The best way to resolve this issue would be for you to shut up.

Needs more psychedelic toasters.

I intuit goats.

Write jokes, not riddles.

I am lost in the sea of cats. Have you seen my fish?

I talk to the trees, but the trees never listen to me.

Jump off the cliff and fall into the dream...

Come to the dark side. We have cookies.

That's good. Don't resist.

Curiosity isn't worth it if it makes you kill a cat.

I suppose that's what they told you. Have you seen the results?

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

You say misanthropy like it's a bad thing.

Ignorance is bliss, but it's a lacking bliss, because you don't know how good it is until it's gone.

What do you mean by "wrong"?

I don't feel like a victim.