is you a soq? must cunferm b4 welcuming u. 
03:01, 1 Ditzimber 2017 (UTC)
- User:Butter coffee rocket/Butter coffee reminds me of Gruntled's style, but it stayed on topic for too long. CG098 (talk ₪ contribs) 03:54, 1 Ditzimber 2017 (UTC)
I beat you to it, 2+2=5![edit source]
Welcome to ?pedia! Hope you enjoy your stay. Please leave your nouns in the locker room
(behind the the door marked "LOLCHEESE")
So anyway, this is a pseudo-official greeting from a user who may or may not be an admin/sysop/werewolf, so here come the obligatory links to pages to help you out and tell you "Don't be teh vandal kthx":
- Our beginner's guide is here
- If you want more info on ?pedia, 'tis right here, and in case you've come from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia or some other "humour" wiki, we also recommend that you understand how ?pedia is different from other wikis
- A less sensible explanation of our beloved 'pedia is here
- Our general disclaimer is not here, but here --> LOOKIE
- Don't be afraid to visit us on
IRC DISCORD
The rules, such as "ROFL KILL THE BABIESN'T PLZN'T (notn't)" are here. People breaking the rules will have a koala thrown at them, and may also possibly receive a Chinese burn.
So, that's all for now... Please be nice, make great articles and help contribute to our community in any way possible: e.g. template making, voting for articles or users, et cetera.
~ The Illogicopedia Welcoming Committee
“NO ACTUALLY, YOU'RE TERRIBLE AND WE HOPE YOU DIE.”
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Whether it's through compulsory community service for crimes we won't go into or just personal choice, you've just joined illogicopedia. First and foremost, may I take your coat *rifles through the pockets*.
This greeting if not nailed to your forehead (or applied forcefully with No More Nails) is most likely from an admin/werewolf/Jonas the Happy Vandal/Sysop which makes it excellent, so RELAX. Now we're all relaxed, I'll quickly get through the bits you need to know (rules and where to go etc, and my bribe of course):
- If you're actually a vandal then prepare to be squashed by an oversized novelty sandal.
- If you're a complete beginner to wiki's then you may want to click here.
- If you're nibbling on any cheese or cookies at the moment, STOP!
...Hammer Time! Those are for Santa - our resident stuttering old perv.
- Just so you know what we're about (the life drawing class is left of that pop-up) I'd advise clicking here. I have to emphasise the section "In comparison to other wikis", just incase you're a fleeing uncyclopedia/uncycling flea user etc.
- Any featured work will be rewarded with a gold star (to put on your Christmas tree) whilst any !$"?@#!1*&!! work will be rewarded with a swift slap to the chops.
- If you turn out to infact be a brilliant user and aren't at this point laughing at the huge crater you've made where the Illogia once stood then you could be elidgible for Writer of the Month (or at least an unofficial Insane/Dedication award). If all else fails drink holy water and watch as a big hole-y forms through your heart.
- If it all goes horribly wrong and the police find your stash of Nuclear warheads, have broken into your house, and the ghost busters are unavailable then you should probably franticly claw for help in the direction of these guys.
- If you want to wear a funny wig and sit in a house full of commoners or lards then a political party membership may be for you. I recommend the Strangled Cats party.
- When we finally figure out you're the user that keeps stealing our pocessions we're going to need to keep in touch with you (so we can get a clear shot at ya :P). So please feel free to leave comments on user's talk pages or our sparkling forum. You can talk to us directly on our IRC chatroom.
- Now all that's left is the complimentary welcoming mint, and my bribe. £<insert number with more zeroes than Binary Code at the end of it here> please. Make all cheques payable to hell.
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You seem to have entered illogicopedia....
If you are a hard working buisness man/guy who wears a suit and tie to work.... go away, you aren't welcome. BUT, if you wear your tie on backwards and sing songs about pancakes in the shower, you have come to the right place my friend.
So, if you are the latter here is some info you might want to know before going any further.
- You gotta watch out for the werewolves... they can help.... but they will ban you if you are a vandal, therefore killing you!
- we don't delete many articles anyone writes unless they are one liners... or one worders. so please help the quality of our articles. And who knows, you may get a feature.
- If you have any trouble enter the IRC channel and talk to someone... if anyone.... on it.
- you can check out our forums to see what's going on here
- BUT BEFORE YOU GO ANYWHERE DROP YOUR EGG PLANT AND READ THIS!!!
Good luck...
For specific questions ask a sysop
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Oi, you over there!
Oh noes, here are me armed with welcome template
This place is called "bagel Illogicopedia". Just be random and you might get somewhere.
Now, look at these pages, they are useful.
Any questions? Ask me on my talk page or if it's an admin related issue, talk to one of the people here.
Well, I'm lazy so that's it. Go do something cool, random, funny etc.
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Might as well have all of them. danny!Text 06:56, 1 Ditzimber 2017 (UTC)
No Im not a sock. I've never had a sock before anywhere. Too lazy for that level of cunningness and goofery. Thanks for the welcome :) I was thinking that maybe this article was a little too coherent and too cohesive. Butter coffee rocket (talk) 17:49, 1 Ditzimber 2017 (UTC)
- Ok. danny!Text 01:55, 2 Ditzimber 2017 (UTC)
- It's good in my book. (Almost) All kinds of illogic are welcome here. CG098 (talk ₪ contribs) 04:36, 2 Ditzimber 2017 (UTC)
