User talk:Clujikostu

Welcome to ?pedia! Hope you enjoy your stay. Please leave your nouns in the locker room (behind the the door marked "LOLCHEESE") So anyway, this is a pseudo-official greeting from a user who may or may not be an admin/sysop/werewolf, so here come the obligatory links to pages to help you out and tell you "Don't be teh vandal kthx": Our beginner's guide is here If you want more info on ?pedia, 'tis right here, and in case you've come from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia or some other "humour" wiki, we also recommend that you understand how ?pedia is different from other wikis A less sensible explanation of our beloved 'pedia is here Our general disclaimer is not here, but here --> LOOKIE Don't be afraid to visit us on IRC DISCORD The rules, such as "ROFL KILL THE BABIESN'T PLZN'T (notn't)" are here. People breaking the rules will have a koala thrown at them, and may also possibly receive a Chinese burn. So, that's all for now... Please be nice, make great articles and help contribute to our community in any way possible: e.g. template making, voting for articles or users, et cetera. ~ The Illogicopedia Welcoming Committee “NO ACTUALLY, YOU'RE TERRIBLE AND WE HOPE YOU DIE.” ~ The Illogicopedia Community on welcoming new members

By the sword of Frunobulax I bid you welcome. You may bring reptiles into the common areas. The bathroom sink is clogged, so don't use it. Other-dimensional beings, phantasms and supernatural creatures may attempt to interfere with your work here. Simply ignore them, for they are completely imaginary. And not like the square root of minus one. This train of thought has been brought to you by Adult Swim, proud sponsor of the illogical and unreasonable since some time in the 90s. (kaizum me) 16:31, 10 Farbleum 2017 (UTC)

Don't copy and paste stuff into Illogicopedia from another source and call it an article (AdultSwim)

(kaizum me) 03:12, 11 Farbleum 2017 (UTC)

One can continually wonder as to why it is called "Nevermind the Bollocks"

Why would I be accused of such a nefarious activity like this!? Surely it wasn't me who was stealing bags of a powder made out of mummified dolphins, now, right? Because I would rather drink from a jar of fermented alien fetuses rather than succumbing to such an egregious accusation! I fear nothing!

I cannot explain why there's an ominous green glow emanating from the ceiling here, or the fact that there might be the occasional shriek of a hyena on Wednesdays, and I certainly cannot explain the bloodstains at the golden altar we have in the back, but nonetheless, welcome to Illogicopedia. We do not offer any complementary food services here because we're always short on moose meat, but I heard that they serve hyena on Wednesdays.

It's like I was meant to be a developing embryo. Maybe I was just too hairy for the part. E-Vile!

Oh, and there's this blue monstrosity. Courtesy of some jerk in Kyrgyzstan.

Whether it's through compulsory community service for crimes we won't go into or just personal choice, you've just joined illogicopedia. First and foremost, may I take your coat *rifles through the pockets*. This greeting if not nailed to your forehead (or applied forcefully with No More Nails) is most likely from an admin/werewolf/Jonas the Happy Vandal/Sysop which makes it excellent, so RELAX. Now we're all relaxed, I'll quickly get through the bits you need to know (rules and where to go etc, and my bribe of course): If you're actually a vandal then prepare to be squashed by an oversized novelty sandal. If you're a complete beginner to wiki's then you may want to click here. If you're nibbling on any cheese or cookies at the moment, STOP! ...Hammer Time! Those are for Santa - our resident stuttering old perv. Just so you know what we're about (the life drawing class is left of that pop-up) I'd advise clicking here. I have to emphasise the section "In comparison to other wikis", just incase you're a fleeing uncyclopedia/uncycling flea user etc. Any featured work will be rewarded with a gold star (to put on your Christmas tree) whilst any !$"?@#!1*&!! work will be rewarded with a swift slap to the chops. If you turn out to infact be a brilliant user and aren't at this point laughing at the huge crater you've made where the Illogia once stood then you could be elidgible for Writer of the Month (or at least an unofficial Insane/Dedication award). If all else fails drink holy water and watch as a big hole-y forms through your heart. If it all goes horribly wrong and the police find your stash of Nuclear warheads, have broken into your house, and the ghost busters are unavailable then you should probably franticly claw for help in the direction of these guys. If you want to wear a funny wig and sit in a house full of commoners or lards then a political party membership may be for you. I recommend the Strangled Cats party. When we finally figure out you're the user that keeps stealing our pocessions we're going to need to keep in touch with you (so we can get a clear shot at ya :P). So please feel free to leave comments on user's talk pages or our sparkling forum. You can talk to us directly on our IRC chatroom. Now all that's left is the complimentary welcoming mint, and my bribe. £<insert number with more zeroes than Binary Code at the end of it here> please. Make all cheques payable to hell.

Never trust your waffles. Those are some stranger things, I tell you. 04:31, 11 Farbleum 2017 (UTC)

Excellent job of welcoming Clujikostu to our little wiki. I've been meaning to discuss the perpetual moose meat shortage. Oh, and the hyena stores are all Belching Hyena, a very tough meat. Those wooden casks in the kitchen next to the puffer fish tank are filled with Belching Hyena that's been cured for 68 days, and is now marinating. Cheers. (kaizum me) 02:53, 21 Farbleum 2017 (UTC))