User talk:Xbony2

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Your attention please, while this announcement is going through place, you have been inducted into a secret society.

This secret society is called Illogicopedia. It is home to humans, minks and a variety of other races.

  • We don't like vandals, nor sandals. We do however like refugees from Uncyclopedia. Talk about it somewhere.
    ATT 20105.jpg
  • Help is over here: -> here.
  • Enjoy the site, that's the thing. But look at our policy first.
  • Cheese it now.
  • Any featured work will be rewarded with a gold star, which is cool indeed.
  • You could even get a cool IOTM award!
  • In the end that's it. Enjoy it! Illogicopedia is here. Also, save your breath for reading The Longest Article.

Incandescent gas? Icons-flag-au.png Operator XY - (Conversal :: Editations - 7,284 and counting!) 22:08, 22 Octodest 2016 (UTC)

JESUS HAWTHORNE BARTHOLOMEW-CHRIST IT'S JASON BOURNE A NEWCOMER!!! EVERYONE GRAB THE NAPALM FROM THE CHEESE VAULTS!!! WE'VE GOT A WILD AND OVERRIPE ONE IN HERE AND MR. SEPPS WON'T LIKE THE CHEMICAL TRAIL IT'LL LEAVE BEHIND IF WE LET IT REACH THE DOLPHIN SANITARIUM!!! Smell?

Anyways, here are the welcome templates that we're mandated to throw at deaf house pets with crippling depression arthritis on Tuesdays. Why? I dunno. I guess it's because we've forgotten how to type on a keyboard here in Illogicopedia. Blame the primordial instincts of irradiated coelacanths.

Welcome to ?pedia! Hope you enjoy your stay. Please leave your nouns in the locker room
(behind the the door marked "LOLCHEESE")

So anyway, this is a pseudo-official greeting from a user who may or may not be an admin/sysop/werewolf, so here come the obligatory links to pages to help you out and tell you "Don't be teh vandal kthx":

  • Our beginner's guide is here
  • If you want more info on ?pedia, 'tis right here, and in case you've come from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia or some other "humour" wiki, we also recommend that you understand how ?pedia is different from other wikis
  • A less sensible explanation of our beloved 'pedia is here
  • Our general disclaimer is not here, but here --> LOOKIE
  • Don't be afraid to visit us on IRC DISCORD

The rules, such as "ROFL KILL THE BABIESN'T PLZN'T (notn't)" are here. People breaking the rules will have a koala thrown at them, and may also possibly receive a Chinese burn.

So, that's all for now... Please be nice, make great articles and help contribute to our community in any way possible: e.g. template making, voting for articles or users, et cetera.

~ The Illogicopedia Welcoming Committee

“NO ACTUALLY, YOU'RE TERRIBLE AND WE HOPE YOU DIE.”

~ The Illogicopedia Community on welcoming new members
Whether it's through compulsory community service for crimes we won't go into or just personal choice, you've just joined illogicopedia. First and foremost, may I take your coat *rifles through the pockets*.

This greeting if not nailed to your forehead (or applied forcefully with No More Nails) is most likely from an admin/werewolf/Jonas the Happy Vandal/Sysop which makes it excellent, so RELAX. Now we're all relaxed, I'll quickly get through the bits you need to know (rules and where to go etc, and my bribe of course):

  • If you're actually a vandal then prepare to be squashed by an oversized novelty sandal.
    Duck patrol2.JPG
  • If you're a complete beginner to wiki's then you may want to click here.
  • If you're nibbling on any cheese or cookies at the moment, STOP! ...Hammer Time! Those are for Santa - our resident stuttering old perv.
  • Just so you know what we're about (the life drawing class is left of that pop-up) I'd advise clicking here. I have to emphasise the section "In comparison to other wikis", just incase you're a fleeing uncyclopedia/uncycling flea user etc.
  • Any featured work will be rewarded with a gold star (to put on your Christmas tree) whilst any !$"?@#!1*&!! work will be rewarded with a swift slap to the chops.
  • If you turn out to infact be a brilliant user and aren't at this point laughing at the huge crater you've made where the Illogia once stood then you could be elidgible for Writer of the Month (or at least an unofficial Insane/Dedication award). If all else fails drink holy water and watch as a big hole-y forms through your heart.
  • If it all goes horribly wrong and the police find your stash of Nuclear warheads, have broken into your house, and the ghost busters are unavailable then you should probably franticly claw for help in the direction of these guys.
  • If you want to wear a funny wig and sit in a house full of commoners or lards then a political party membership may be for you. I recommend the Strangled Cats party.
  • When we finally figure out you're the user that keeps stealing our pocessions we're going to need to keep in touch with you (so we can get a clear shot at ya :P). So please feel free to leave comments on user's talk pages or our sparkling forum. You can talk to us directly on our IRC chatroom.
  • Now all that's left is the complimentary welcoming mint, and my bribe. £<insert number with more zeroes than Binary Code at the end of it here> please. Make all cheques payable to hell.

As always, the time for asking questions was yesterday, so the Headmaster of Grandiloquent Stupidity will not be taking your order any time soon. Nose the cheese! 2+2=5 SPEAK TO ME, ILLOGIAN! Past accounts of sodomy RAVENOUS AND RUTHLESS CAPITALISM The greatest article in the history of Illogia! 02:00, 25 Octodest 2016 (UTC)