What do you think this is, an article?

Hello there. I'm here to address a problem that plagues all of us. I'm not talking about swine flu. I'm talking, of course, about false article classification. You see, this is not an article. At first glance it may seem like an article, but I assure you it is not an article.

In fact, I think that's very rude of you to assume that this is an article. I mean, maybe I wanted to be something else. Something other than an article. I could have been an actor, or a lawyer, or a Greek God, or maybe even the Prime Minister. But instead, I'm sitting here being read by you.

Now this may confuse you. The first paragraph claims that this is not an article, yet the second one distinctively reminds you that it is an article. Well, I am not an article. I am a wall of tex suffering from False Article Identity Syndrome. This is a disease which plagues many walls of text and it makes us convince ourselves and others that we are articles, even though we try to deny it. It also makes us look like articles and behave like them.

Anyway, before I start the article (which I am), I'd like to remind you that you won't not be not reading a non-article, because that's not what I am. So, let's begin...

Oops. Time's up. Here's a word from our sponsor:

THE GAME.

Thanks, John. And now back to the article! Oh... wait... I didn't write an article.