7 Girls 3.5 Cup

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The 7 Girls 3.5 Cup is the main religious text of The church of Joccu-Than-Iggy-Piggy-Wiggy. It concerns the way in which a Joccu-Than-Iggy-Piggy-Wiggyan should live their life in a way that pleases Joccu-Than and possibly also some of the over (6)9000 other gods, goddesses, genderless deities, and hermaphrodite deities.

Teachings of the 7 Girls 3.5 Cup[edit | edit source]

  • Never harm a frog. Frogs are the emissaries of Joccu-Than. Any person who harms a frog shall receive punishment in the afterlife.
  • Eat lots of nachos. Nachos are Joccu-Than's favorite food. Those who eat lots of nachos will receive unlimited nachos in the afterlife.
  • Rub camel earwax on your face every December 33rd. If you do this, Twyzzy-Wyxy the goddess of furries will reward you with a free smurf figurine in the afterlife.
  • Don't be an asshole. Assholes are assholes.
  • Troll and get lots of lulz. If you do, Lulzboi-Swagga the god of trolling will give you a surprise in the afterlife.
  • OPPA GANGNAM STYLE
  • Be over 9000. If you are over 9000, Oboruniensousandu the (genderless) deity of over 9000 shall make you OVER 69000 in the afterlife.