Galumphing
Galumphing, base verb form "galumph", is the process seals use to fly. Galumphing occurs in five phases known as the "galumph phases". Phase zero is known as the "rest" stage, and the seal exists as normal, and is not doing anything galumph related. Phase one is called the "preparation" stage. during this phase, the seal will retract into what scientists call a "seal loaf", and the seal will no longer have any limbs. If you see a seal turn into a loaf, you should try to get at least 20 feet away lest you be disintegrated. Phase two is the "levitate" phase, and the seal will slowly rise up to around four feet above the ground. If you are still near the seal when this happens, it is too late for you. Phase three is the "ascension" phase. The seal will instantly accelerate to speeds of 7672.69 miles per hour. This phase is so destructive that it will instantly disintegrate any non seal creatures within a fifteen foot radius and the seal emits what is known as "Galumphwaves". After reaching cruising altitude, which is around fifteen miles off of the ground for a seal, phase four will begin. Phase four is known as the "Galumph" phase, and the seal will start moving horizontally in the direction it chooses at speeds upwards of 11509 miles per hour, or fifteen times the speed of sound. After the seal has reached it's desired destination, phase five occurs, known as "not galumphing" phase. In this phase the seal simply stops galumphing and just falls out of the sky. Do not worry, seals are very bouncy and are not harmed from falling from such a height.
mechanism[edit | edit source]
The process by which a seal galumphs is very mysterious, but scientists believe part of the process involves an organ known as the "galumph engine", which is located near the heart of the seal. The actual composition of the galumph engine is unknown however, as whenever a seal is dissected (or vivisected for that matter), the galumph engine instantly disintegrates, and the only we way we know it exists is from x-rays of living, intact seals. It seems to be tetradecahedron shaped, roughly the size of an apple. The x-rays are unable to see inside the galumph engine, and an MRI machine is required to study it further. Inside of the galumph engine is a bunch of squiggly little shapes, which scientists believe to actually be fnurdles. It is assumed that the fnurdles inside of the seal were integrated into seal anatomy similar to how our cells contain mitochondria (is the powerhouse of the cell). How these fnurdles manage to live inside of the seals, and not inside of a computer is unknown, but it is theorized that the inside of the galumph engine is similar enough to a computer that the fnurdles do not mind. How the fnurdles allow the seal to fly at mach 15 speeds is also unknown, but more and more about the amazing process of galumphing is underway.
use in aircraft[edit | edit source]
Some people realized that if you strap something to a seal when it is about to galumph, the seal will not instantly disintegrate it, which is what usually happens when something is in the vicinity of a galumph. Thus, the galumph powered aircraft was born, AKA supersonic planes. yes, supersonic planes are powered by seals. Unfortunately, the more mass you attach to the seal, the slower it galumphs, which is why the pilots of jets don't instantly die when the seal is activated via poking. It also actually needs to accelerate when it is carrying a load. The first rocket ships were also powered by galumphing, but they used four seals instead of the one most jets use.