“Oh no, not again...”
God 2.0 is the upcoming God update, available July of 2012. The famous religious engineering company Dietech has been working on the update since the Renaissance, when those pesky Atheists started popping up around the globe. The Godware update includes more logical definitions and reliable evidence to ensure belief in God 2.0's existance.
A beta release of Godware was released in 2009, with encouragement of user feedback and suggestions.
Developers warned that there were still some bugs and that the release is "unstable". There are many bugs in the "morals" and "omni-*" files, leading to many problems with God 2.0 using his powers in unethical ways. The God 2.0 beta release spent the vast majority of his development time down by the horse track and in Las Vegas casinos, placing bets on everything he knows that wins and will win, raking in millions of dollars. This however, seems pointless as he is omnipotent and can get all of the money without gambling anyway.
God 2.0 Features
Developers say the updated version will be faster and more user friendly, answer prayers faster and with more satisfying results, have fewer problems, and cause less mass genocide on the planet. They were also excited to note that the README file (known as the Bible for version 1.0; Qur'an in Arabic) will now be more clear, more factual, and contain fewer contradictions than the previous release. The update will also include more skins, language packs, and braille options for the blind.
"We, however, have been most excited about the Smite-on-Demand feature. It enables believers to instantly smite non-believers and/or sinners who may have done anything--anything at all--against the word of God 2.0. There's going to be fucking insanity on Earth, and a ton of unexplainable injuries at hospitals," said Godware programmer Tooth Fairy. Experts predict there will be a whole new field of medicine specializing in random, unexplainable, never-before-recorded injuries soon after God 2.0's release.