IllogiNews:A rebuttal of the State of the Union 2011 as written by a bulimic 15 year old American female
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A note to those interested: This is real journalism and is not meant to reinforce stereotypes of any kind. Thank you. Now please enjoy this rebuttal of President Obama's 2011 State of the Union Address from our humble correspondent Liz McRich of the independent political party, Team Edward.
This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.
Like, OMG, Prez Obama like said stuff, like about the economy you know. And, like Sputnik. And John Boehner and that old fart like, sat behind him and stuff. OMG Chelsea just texted me back about her date with Sean, that dreamy guy I have chemistry with. And they went to Chuck E. Cheese's with Sean's little brother Johnny and he, like, threw up totally! That pizza was poisoned by, like, a like, like, idiot, who like, couldn't cook. Uh, what, Brad like made out with Sally. Oh, mah GAWD!
Oh, back to that boring politicy thingy. Obama, like, wanted to fix infrastructure, like I would know what that is. Oh, and this was gangsta: the Republicans and the Democrats, like, sat together without, like, biting each others' heads off. TOTALLY!
That reminds me, in lunch one day, this dork, was like, actually trying to talk to me about this stuff and, like, abortion. I said, if I wanna screw my boyfriend, it's my right to abort the baby, and you conservatives, like can't tell me, to like, what to do with my body. Yeah, he's a total loser. He could never get a date, his breath, like, smells like armpit, and he, like, is sooooooooooooo GROSS!
Oh, sorry about that. Now, what else about that thing? I did like that only six of the Supreme Court justices showed up, after, like Obama burned them last time. Like, that, was, WAY better than that guy throwing that shoe at Dubya. He's like, my, WAFFLE!
And, what about that stuff he didn't mention, like, mention at all? Like making all guys take showers, wear, like $3343444444 expensive clothes, stop being CREEPY and UGLY, or that they should pay on a date. What about that, Obama? That's totally, like more important, than, like, jobs or infrastructure, or, like trains, or, like salmon, or health, or any of that. That's, like, stuff, like, like, like MY PARENTS care about!
Well, I better throw up this 5 pound candy bar before I go on a, like, date, with TRAVIS, the hottest hunk in my school! Thanks, IllogiNews, for, like, asking, my, to like, like, talk. But I, like talk all the time, so not a problem. TTYL!