IllogiNews:Big Mac cries about losing mommy

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

DETROIT, Wishigan

Big Mac citizen Phil at the age of 6 loses his mother to a hungry customer at a Downtown McDonald's. Hulk Hogan, a correspondent at IllogiNews has this to say about the incident.

Now, anyone must be heartbroken, even a Big Mac (who, quite contrary to the popular belief to the Homo sapiens who consume them) have feelings and we, as those evil, evil Homo sapiens, need to help them to get equal rights in our society and get McDonald's to stop catching and selling them for consumption.

Now, the Big Mac child is in grief and there is nothing we can do about it, except to eject the sandwich fine citizen from the big, hairy man's stomach. To talk about this we have our other correspondent Forrest Gump has this to say about this.

Well, Mama always said life's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

Now, this controversy has many of many species, except for Homo sapiens to fight for equal rights for the Big Mac and to shut McDonald's down. Correspondent Rush Limbaugh has this to say about it.

STOP OBAMACARE NOW! KILL ALL THE DEMOCRATS! THEY ARE BAD FOR SOCIETY! WE NEED TO STOP THESE MANIACS! TOO MUCH DEFICIT SPENDING!

Now, we hope this Big Mac will grow up finely without his parents.

BREAKING UPDATE: The child Big Mac was captured by McDonald's and eaten.

IT'S ALL LIES! ALL LIES! LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!