IllogiNews:Eric Cartman: "Mom, I want a Twinkie"

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

As we all know, the Twinkie fandom is slowly dying and there are less and less members in this fandom. A leader of a local Twinkie club, Eric Cartman, says that the activity in the club has been declining day by day. "Disgusting Jews", says Cartman. "They are controlling the world and intentionally ruining my Twinkie club!" The club has tried everything, as Cartman notes. They've even put posters and advertisements on various places and social media. Still, no one is responding, despite their best efforts.

Another Twinkie cult club member, Dr. Oetker, had to say that other "Twinky Winkies", as the members of the club love to call themselves, helped him make ingredients that enhanced the taste and the feel of a Twinkie into a much better, mind-tripping experience. Like LSD (LSD? LSO? ISO???), as Oetker says.

"Mom, I want a Twinkie", says Eric, and sends a message to the public: RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!!