IllogiNews:My friend is getting Doom Eternal for Christmas

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

It is Ditzimber 2022, and my friend has just told me that he is getting Doom Eternal for Christmas! And what am I getting? NOTHING! Yeah. And he also has a choice in getting another game, other than Doom Eternal, and guess what game will he buy? God of War! While I have to stick to folking Minecraft and stupid Microsoft Solitaire! And Pinball Space Cadet, yeah, never forget the pinball. I've had to learn that the hard way.

And yeah, while he has Doom Eternal, I have to play Ms. Pac-Man gets a menstruation and swallows up gallons of cum while giving Tim Follin another chance. That game doesn't even work anymore, what's the point? Like, Tim Follin will never return to composing chiptunes anyway!

So, should I let my friend play his Doom while I sit in the corner of the street, beg for money, have suicidal thoughts and cry? No, of course. Maybe I can be the Tim Follin from that game. Yeah, I'll start composing tunes for the Spectrum. See ya later!