IllogiNews:Testostereich claims he "woulda written an article if it wasn't for you meddling kids."

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

Hold the phones, drop the baby and turn up the radio. A small man somewhere insignificant was today prevented from writing the article he intended to by meddling kids. This has caused national outrage, with subsequent riots claiming thousands of lives and counting. News pundits everywhere are advising viewers to arm themselves with machetés and any old Starwars memorabelia they have lying around. Gordon Brown was unable to comment, but it is rumoured that the government plan to initiate emergency protocol C. This frightful plan if implemented would involve every government official everywhere, ever, to drop their briefcases and go what early reports are describing as "Ape Shit."

Though this plan is intended to alleviate the situation, some bloggers fear the worst, Homosexualeyite from Brighton had this to say, "Aww bloody 'ell." Dark words, dark words.

Oh, I probably should have mentioned that by "meddling kids" I meant "revision".

National panic over. Free nipple tassels for everyone!!