WHY NOT

"Why not?" "Because" "I dunno". Blake and Jeff's conversation was fairly boring due to the fact I never actually introduced them.

Let's start again.

Chapter 1

Blake was with his friend Jeff and Blake wanted ice cream but Jeff said no. "Why not?" "Because." "I dunno." "See?" As drab as it seemed, that was half of Blake and Jeff's conversations. Blake then Jeff then Blake then Jeff to rap it up. Though neither one was smart, Jeff was clearly wiser and more mature than the always-wanting-ice-cream Blake. Blake retorted with the expected "You just hate me 'cause I'm black!" And the worst part was, he isn't black.

While Blake was convincing Jeff to get them funnel cakes which in my and Blake's opinions, are proof that heaven exists, a man in a black trench coat (like the guy from the Matrix) came up to them and said, "Ya want a funnel cake, I'll get you a funnel cake". Now I realize I forgot to mention Blake and Jeff are only thirteen years old. That's kinda important. Blake's face lit up like a Christmas tree, "Yessir". Jeff snarled, "Did your mom ever tell you not to take candy from strangers?" Blake responded in a know-it-all tone, "Yeah but she didn't say crap about funnel cakes," he turned to the man, "how much for one?" He said in a graveling voice, "Your soul..." Before Blake could say "Is that some Indian currency?" Jeff said no thanks and ran away, pulling Blake with him. "Jeff," said Blake, "It could of been an India-" "No Blake you.. IDIOT, he wants us dead." "That doesn't make any sense..." "Yeah, but neither does half the things John Madden says but people still listen to him." He did have a point, I might add. And I do. Add it; that is. Blake saw his point but now he wanted a Butterfinger (that's neither here nor there). Blake did have many cravings. On a note that actually is relevant to the story, Blake responded with a, "Well.. Uh.." Though only two worlds it speaks volumes on his stupidity.

Chapter 2

The next day at school, Jeff and Blake were 'a' sippin' their juice boxes when the man in black came and said, "Ya want a popsicle?" Blake was estatic, "DO I?" Jeff interjected, "BLAKE!" Blake's mouth was watering, "What flavor?" Blake may of had an accident while the man was finishing his word. It was simply, "Grapalicious." Blake wasn't hesitant of saying, "How much?" "Your soul." Blake crossed his arms and laid down on the floor while stating, "Deal". The man picked him up and walked out of the school (school security much?). Jeff started screaming profanities that later got him a referral and he ran after the man. When Jeff got outside the guy was gone. Isn't that typical. You're five feet behind a guy but once you lose the line of sight and ShamWOW! he's gone. Ugh.. Annoying cliches. So I wish I could say that Blake got his popsicle. I might say it later but now Jeff was looking for Blake.

In reality Blake wasn't in some hidden lair; it was actually a storage unit. But for the purposes of entertainment it was a vile, vile lair of Doom. The man in black wasn't really such a bad guy. His name was Dave. Back to the story; Blake followed Dave to what he called "The Freezer". Once there he tied Blake up and starting screaming about how "his brother never loved him" and how "he has to take it out on someone who looks like him". Blake's mouth was still watering and he still did not grasp the fact he was not going to get a popsicle.

Chapter 3

I could go into detail about Jeff's amazing investigation on Blake's whereabouts but I really don't have enough time nor do I care much. In short he talked and talked and talked and bribed and talked and talked and gave the perverted storage company owner pictures of him in nothing but underwear. So where I ended, he was knocking on the storage door. He screamed, "Pizza delivery!" The ironic thing was, Dave actually ordered a pizza (Domino's if you're interested) so he immediately opened the door. "Hey! You're not Domino's!" If Jeff had a gun he'd pull an Explosive Pizza type thing. Unfortunately, he did not have a gun and was not very gangster in his tactics.

Now if you wish to imagine the next scene just imagine a thirteen year old weakling fighting a thirty-two year old underground fighting club champ. Wait, that's what the fight actually was... Well, any way, Dave was pwnin' the CRAP out of Jeff. Like a Division III football team playing against USC. A mockery for one, a "eh, well. It's not like we expected to win" type moment for the other. Now the thing I didn't mention is, the Division III team has a star player that USC CANNOT stop. (In the fight the "player" is the equivalent of a tazer.) Don't you think the Division III team would win? Well Jeff took his tazer and tazed Dave in his balls. If you're wondering where a thirteen year-old got a tazer, two words: Craig's List. Well... Dave fell to the ground grabbing his crotch in pain. Jeff dialed 9-1-1 on his phone as he freed Blake.

Chapter 4

So after a long day (THAT WAS ONLY A DAY???) Jeff and Blake were back together once again. They were going over everything that happened, Jeff having to explain every third sentence. Blake was none the wiser but at least Jeff knew that he should never let Blake make any decisions whatsoever. As they were sitting on a bench, a man with a monocle and a white coat came up to Blake and asked Blake, "You want an apple pie?" Jeff sighed slash snarled. Blake just said, oblivious as ever, "Why not?"