A message from space

Commander: Main screen turn on.

Soldier: It doesn't work like that.

Commander: What say?

Soldier: Screens only turn on when you say "main screen turn on" in badly translated video games. Outside of these games, you have to press the ON button to turn on the main screen.

Commander: Thank you for help. You promoted.

Soldier: LUL :3

Commander: So, what say screen?

Soldier: Stop talking like that.

Commander: Sorry. What does the screen say?

Soldier: Why don't you read it?

Commander: Demoted from Personal Reader to Toilet Cleaner!

Soldier: But I'm not your Personal Re-

Commander: No, you're not my personal reader. You're the toilet cleaner, now get back to cleaning the toilets.

-screen turns on-

Guy on screen: Hello Commander.

Commander: Who are you?

Guy on screen: Your mom. Anyway, I have proposition. You make me cookie.

Commander: No.

Guy on screen: Oh, f**k it. Is anyone even reading this?

Commander: Umm... teenagers?

Guy on screen: Oh. Hey kids! Remember the 80s? No, you don't, because you weren't alive.

Commander: This is the future. Neither of us were alive in the 80s.

Guy on screen: Those are dog years.

Commander: What?

Guy on screen: Demoted.

Commander: I don't even work for you.

Guy on screen: Indeed.