A one to the toad

So there once was this toad. As I said. Well, only the once. Anyway. It was six sizes too big. Maybe if the one weren't a rat it would be a toad. Press the Enter key twice.

So the toad was a big one. Like, as big as a hamburger. That is, a big burger. *hamburger.

OR WAS IT?

Yes. But this toad was not a frog. Oh no it wasn't! In comparison this toad was larger than most frogs. Especially the frog that went missing last Tuesday. I had to use sweeping assumptions about average frog size here. Where did it go? No one will know.

There is no joke in this next line.

This line.

Frogs are not toads

Toads are not frogs.

Frogs are not toads.

Toads are NOT FROGS!

FROGS ARE NOT FRoGS!!!!

oh wait they are.

TOADS ARE NOT FROGS! CAN I make it MORE clear?

I guess they could be. If they were not toads and or frogs. ....?

If this toad were in a RPG. YOu might say it is Level 13. But it isn't so it is level 54. As I can say three times. This is not illegal. This not illegal. *pause* THIS IS NOT AN ILL EAGLE!

So as I said. The toad was getting annoying. It was all over me. Like jumping on my face.

Oh REALLY!

yes. And I killed it. I killed three more. And then I gave one to the toad.

Then as I did so, I heard two people

they said

Helgos- MY wonderburg what a nice day! Underwood- I disagree. It is too nasty with the bugs eating my flesh. A giant mosquito comes and eats half of Underwood's arm Helgos- Oh mys. I say so myself. Underwood- At least it tickles my tummy. Underwood dumps a bucket of blood over his head. More mosquitoes swarm him. When they fly away, all that is left is a few fingers, two eyes, and a mouth. Underwood- Aha. No more tummy to tickle. Helgos- That was a fun time.

At that moment I gave another toad carcass to the toad. I had 2 left. I liked them.

THE END