A series of illuminating lines from a supposedly wise man.

I will fire a missile from my ass that will launch you into space.

The bang of my cannon shall burst eardrums for miles around.

The gas from my ass shall be the bane of all people lighting fires for miles around.

The smell of my essence shall cause a 9/11 like panic for miles around.

Why breathe oxygen when you can inhale my essence for miles around.

My methane shall choke people for miles around.

I'll become rocket propelled from assgas and fly for miles around.

I'll start a fart-propelled jetliner that will transport people for miles around.