Aleksandar Marin

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Aleksandar Marin (born September 4th 1992) is a Serbian musician, songwriter, demigod, pimp and multi-linguist from Novi Sad who is said to be able to do anything. He plays 938 instruments, among which are the guitar, piano, bass, panflute, cello, harp, drums, organ, ocarina, bagpipes, gusle, saxophone, flute, and anything else he can get his hands on (which is, everything.). Rumors have it that he invented his own instrument that's so hard to play, only he can do it. Which, by the way, has a range of 568 octaves and can be fit into a matchbox (Well, HE can fit it into a matchbox.). He wears a wooden necklace with M engraved into it, which was pronounced the "most epic necklace ever" by anyone that laid eyes on it.

Cult of Aleksandar Marin[edit]

While not exactly a cult by its very definition, it definitely exists and consists of everyone that witnessed Marin's awesomeness firsthand. The members of this cult asked to remain anonymous, even though we all know who they really are.

Facts about Aleksandar Marin[edit]

  • Aleksandar Marin has been circumsized recently, he had it done without any kind of anesthetics and now his penis is the length and size of a fire hose.
  • Aleksandar Marin is fluent in all known languages, including Armenian.
  • Aleksandar Marin counted to infinity - twice.
  • When Aleksandar Marin does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
  • Aleksandar Marin is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Aleksandar Marin’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  • Aleksandar Marin can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
  • Aleksandar Marin invented gravity, then he threw an apple at Isaac Newton to test its' effects.
  • Aleksandar Marin doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  • Aleksandar Marin can slam a revolving door.
  • Aleksandar Marin je ljuta pederčina.
  • Aleksandar Marin does not get frostbite. Aleksandar Marin bites frost.
  • Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Aleksandar Marin.

Circumcision[edit]

On October 1st 2009, Aleksandar Marin was circumcised, which required a trip to the meatgrinder factory because of the blatant size of his penis. The excess skin, rich in protein and fiber, was used to feed 90% of Africa's starving children population.