Alen brocksby

"We have doughnuts. Why can't you boneheads see that? All we need are doughnuts." ~ Motivational speech by Alen Brocksby

Birth Of Alen Brocksby

There is much speculation as to how this great man came to be in this world, but this is the most widely accepted story. One night in November, 82 years ago, Ms. Brocksby was sitting in her house, drinking a fancy tea her sister had given her. There was also a hurricane outside. Suddenly, all the tin cans in her house inverted themselves, as a Franklin stove fell from the sky, flew through her window, and landed in her living room. Inside that very stove was the infant that was to become Alen Brocksby.

Early Life

With Mr. and Ms. Brocksby too fat and lazy to fix the window, they found it easier to just move to a house under Alabama. There, in his new cave house, young Alen experienced the first 12 years of his life. He made friends with the cave toads and spiders, and went to school at the local hospital.

Out On His Own

The hour he turned thirteen, Alen was out on his own. Ms. Brocksby had heard how troublesome teenagers were and decided to just not do that stage of parenting. Alen found a good job fishing for fishes, and soon had a 20-bedroom condo in Manhattan. By age 28, he owned the world's largest fish fishing company. When the Galactic War started, he turned his fishing vessels into vessels of war, instantaneously becoming commander of the largest navy in the world. All was going good, until his flagship blew up with him on it. His body was never found.