American Idol

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AAhhhh!
Little known to viewers of American Idol, Ryan Seacrest is evil.

American Idol appears to be a show about finding a normal person worthy of being a celebrity. However, this is entirely untrue. It is actually much darker than that. Much, much darker. When a contestant is sent home, they aren't really sent home. They're sent to The Torture Chamber, where they are slaughtered and then eaten by Ryan Seacrest and the judges.

No!! Not another white country guy with a guitar![edit | edit source]

They keep coming!

Why?[edit | edit source]

Ooh, look, a bunny!