Andy Warhol

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Andy Warhol was an artist, singer, and all-round odd guy. What makes his achievements, including designing a can of soup, all the more interesting is that he only lived for 15 minutes.

Early life[edit | edit source]

He was born about 12:45 pm on a typical Saturday to a carpet-miner mother and a zebra father. Every morning they ate stewed zebra with a side of carpet for breakfast.

Until today.

They were a poor family, but then they realised they could sell their son off to the circus. Which they did. At 12:47 he was packing his bags for the circus, never to see his family again.

He learned to sing the announcements, shouting: 'TODAY! DEATH METAL! AND ELEPHANTS! and then he would launch into a massive guitar solo. He also painted many works of art, such as the can of soup, his most famous. What many people don't know is that instead of using paint, he imagined the colours and they appeared on the canvas, because he was amazing like that.

Career[edit | edit source]

By 12:52, he was selling his works of art, each retailing for over $500,000 in today's money. It was a status symbol to have a Warhol artwork at all. Not to mention, everyone he met came to a sticky end, whether with cancer, or simply being hit by a dog truck.

Death[edit | edit source]

At 1:00 pm, the papers announced he had died. No-one knew why, no-one knew how, he just did.