Are garden gnomes the new clowns?

Never trust a clown. Same goes for garden gnomes.

Now, let's just get things straight and clear. Once and for all. No mistakes. No distractions. No funny stuff. Chop chop.

Clowns are the prototypes of serial killers. Everyone in their right mind knows it. You knew it when you were 5 and went to the circus for the first time. You could see that clowns weren't just sad and scary looking "humans" trying to amuse you. You could sense, deep inside yourself, they were there to kill you. Why? Because they would NEVER leave. Once you have an encounter with a clown, you know you can hardly escape. I can't tell you how to survive one of those encounters, I can just encourage you to be strong. And to run as fast as you can, sometimes the fuckers have knives. I mean, what's with the oversized red smile? Were they eating little babies before the show? And what's with the freaky shoes? Did they come straight from another planet where people like to walk like retards? May be so, or maybe it's something altogether different. They are just here to make you afraid, and they will end up killing you. Be strong, keep your act together, pray if you will. Anything goes. If you have to deal with one, try to go on to another place in your mind. Avoid the pain by daydreaming, that could help. You don't want to end up with another traumatic experience you have to tell your therapist about: if your survive that is. I won't go through with this right now, I think I've proven my point. Just thinking of clowns makes me feel like I'm dying inside, just a little bit.

Now, about garden gnomes. We always wonder what the fuck do they do at night, right? Or maybe when we turn around. Let me tell you what they do when you're not watching over them. They do whatever the fuck they feel like doing, that's what they do. If you want to get yourself a garden gnome that won't end up killing you, maybe you should get to know him first. See if he shows any compassion or respect for others. That could be a start. Although, I must say, this is highly unlikely. Garden gnomes were made to do upseting things, and that's how they get off. So you might want to NOT own one, for your own safety. Plus, let's all agree they are an extremely cheesy decoration. They don't even fall under the category of kitsch, 'cause that could be cool. They're just freakish looking. And they were taught by clowns, of course. Everything they know, they got it from clowns. There's no other explanation really.

Also, you might want to watch out for those pizza delivery guys. You never know what they did to your pizza.

--81.84.72.85 02:41, 11 Novelniver 2011 (UTC)Catarina Vicente