BBL (Beep Beep Lettuce)
Beep Beep Lettuce is an evil type of Lettuce used to create a spell to make all traffic disappear. One must do a few things to achieve this spell.
Traffic Disappearance Spell
- Boil the Beep Beep Lettuce (BBL) for 20 minutes.
- Get a Green Lighter (It cannot be any other colour, especially not yellow, as yellow is not a good toaster!)
- Set HALF of the Beep Beep Lettuce on fire.
- Blow out the fire, and pour blue food dye on the Beep Beep Lettuce side that is not burnt, and red on the side that is.
- Attach the Beep Beep Lettuce on top of your car, and do not mind if the dye starts to drain, but attach the Beep Beep Lettuce securely.
- Sit in your car and wait until in a traffic jam.
- Begin screaming and raging in your car for 10 seconds, almost like you are having a fit.
- Suddenly slam your hand onto your car horn twice in quick succession (i.e. In a 'Beep Beep' fashion) do not allow a long horn to sound (i.e. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)
- Let out a loud sigh
- Slam your foot onto the accelerator.
- Watch as all the cars are moved and crushed by this simple spell.
NOTE: This spell is frowned upon and even illegal in some places.
Beep Beep Lettuces are not available in any legal stores, but can be found on the black market. One place you can obtain these lettuces is: [REDACTED]
If you or someone you know is using Beep Beep Lettuce, please ring 1800-555-666 to get rid of your addiction, or call 1300-555-777 to notify the BIBLE (Bureau of Investigations into Beep Lettuce Exploitation).
In the event of a Beep Beep Lettuce Emergency (BBLE), please ring the Police and Ambulance for Emergency Assistance. Beep Beep Lettuce is a POISONOUS SUBSTANCE - DO NOT CONSUME.
[CIA CLASSIFIED - ENTER CIA AUTHORIZATION CODE TO GAIN ACCESS TO SECURE LEVEL ONE INFORMATION]
~ Nathaniel R. Froud (talk) 08:16, 5 April 2017 (UTC)