Blublub
“The man who knows, or, he may not know.”
Although many know him as a descendant of the slender man and the triforce after a tape mix spin the bottle party causing a convergence of [throviet blinkensteiter] (more commonly referred to as the DMtintex) He makes his way though life using an umbrella humming show tunes and only ever moving when people use the phrase 'the winds of change' then fart within four years of writing it down in a resignation letter to the vice principle of a local elementary school.
He wears glasses with a telescope taped to the side with dark matter. Some physicists explain he is the origin of nihilism, and your solidified brain juice becomes particles in his earl grey afternoon tea, with scones, with cream and everything it's really nice, try it. The only known way to contact this non-gender specific man, is by searing your eyebrows off with a lamp made of apples and llama spit. The bulb of said lamp may not use energy saving light bulbs, and must be un-blessed. The lamp must also get a truck driver to honk it's horn on the free way between Texas and the Isle of man but only on a Tuesday.