Brain problems

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While the human brain is magnificent for its ability to do stuff, one cannot help to notice the problems with the human brain. Despite its ability to come up with things and other stuff, the human brain has been under constant criticism and speculation due to its mysterious ways of doing things and its error-prone techniques. People such as brain surgeons generally have the answer to why the brain is so magnificently sucky, ranging from well accepted theories to impossible ideas that only the brain itself would dream up to protect its innocence, creating circular reasoning. The debate has been raging ever since the brain was invented by Frankenstein in the 1800's.

Stupidity Gene[edit | edit source]

Nearly half of all human brains, including 78% of American ones, include the gene often known for its ability to cause stupidity in people. This is a very serious problem as it leads to more stupid people who do stupid things, make other people stupid, and lower the average IQ.

These waves of stupidity have had varying impacts on society, leading to surges of idiots, rednecks, and conservatives around the globe. Ultimately, no matter how smart people there are, these problem with the brain will reign true as a sign of God's wrath on pathetic and stupid human beings.

Poor Design[edit | edit source]

More than likely due to Adam being dropped as a child, the brain has a terribly inefficient design ad shape, which leads to more problems than benefits. Take for example, the extraordinarily small size of the cerebellum; if it were only a bit larger a lot less people would trip, fall, and flaw the shape of the brain even moreso than it already is.

The design also fails to follow some basic design rules, such as never using terrible colour combinations. Blood red and stale grey have not been renowned as "soul mate" colours, like many other combinations such as brick red and creamy orange. The random patterns of fleshy tubes have repulsed the world's leading designers for ages on end.

These noticeable flaws among other smaller design flaws have led the brain to become an example of what not to do when designing intelligent living organisms.

Other flaws[edit | edit source]

Strength[edit | edit source]

The brain is a very soft and weak collection of tissue. A simple bullet could ruin the entire infrastructure, as history has showed time and time again through wars. Even falling on a rock could damage it. This has lead to the death of many people, and who knows how many of them were smart.

Some smart people have suggested replacing the brain with a more tough substance, such as a rock or a very large diamond Research is exploring these new ideas with millions of dollars in government funding.

Size[edit | edit source]

The brains size is very large an inefficient in the human body, in comparison to other animals. Take, for example, the stegosaurus. The several-ton brute had a brain that is estimated to have been the size of a walnut. Imagine what all of the extra space could be used for: storing fat, extra bladder reservoir, etc.

Lameness[edit | edit source]

The brain spawned such ideas as parachute pants, electric fences, and internet memes. How lame can you get?

Conclusion[edit | edit source]

We've learned from this evaluation that the brain just isn't as good as it could be. This leads many people to not trust their brain, and ultimately themselves, resulting in permanent "check in" to the "fun house".

Scientists have tried to imagine and engineer the perfect human brain, but since they have problematic and flawed human brains, they simply couldn't do it. Other scientists have gone as far to try an eliminate the human brain and living without it, just like jellyfish.

See Also[edit | edit source]