CAPITAL LETTERS

Capital letters were invented in the mid to late 1990s as a humane substitute for capital punishment. When a felon is sentenced to capital letters, it means they are forced to continiously read emails written in ALL CAPS until their eyes burn out from the incredible pain of dealing with such rude and unnecessarily lack of netiquette.

Methods of capital letters

First there is the hastily typed message:

OMG I LEFT CAPSLOCK ON LOL

But also there are the more longer messages:

I WAS REALLY OFFENDED BY WHAT YOU SAID THE OTHER DAY. WHEN
YOU WALKED BY I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO EXPLODE IN A FIT OF
UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE AND GO POSTAL ON THE WHOLE PLACE. BUT
THEN I DECIDED TO TELL YOU MY INNERMOST FEELINGS IN ALL
CAPITAL LETTERS IN A VERY LONG AND EMOTIONAL EMAIL LIKE
THIS> HAVE A NICE DAY.

Needless to say, death or at least insanity follows shortly.

See also

• CAPS LOCK
• Shiftsmanship