Campfire

Woddy is the ancient tree god.

Picture of Woody

He loves to dream of killing Lumberjacks, which are a tree's greatest enemy. Campfires are his way of getting happiness. He just loves to see his fellow tree writhing in agony. It is sooooooo funny. In order to make a campfire first, you must find a tree. Trees are usually in disguise, so they are hard to catch. Luckily there is a way to trap them. First, you much identify the nearest tree. Trees wear yellow wigs, suit with red tie,have orange skin and usually pretend to be U.S. presidents. Also trees look exactly like humans so they actually are not that hard to find. Once you have found your tree you must do a secret Tree ritual where you must put on a giant top hat and sing the ABCs. Naturally, the tree will think you have gone insane. And not pay attention to you. Next you must secretly pull out your pokemon cards and throw them at the tree while yelling "Beyblade Let it Rip!" Then your tree will be trapped inside one of your cards. Now you have caught your tree but at the expense of all of your Pokemon cards. Btw the tree might explode when trapped. (Only 97.9348494358% of the time.)

Now that Your Tree has been caught you must follow these instructions In order to create your campfire:

Trapped disguised tree

Step One

Congratulations on making it to step 1 only 0.0001% survive the explosion. To celebrate give this site your credit card/bank information and we will throw you the best party ever. (Ignore all calls from the bank)

Step Two

Now that you have enjoyed your lovely party be sure to give this site lots of money to thank us

Step Three

Give this site permission to spend your money in any way we like.

Step Five

Now to get back on track. You must Put the pokemon card inside of your oven and set it to 797979797979797979797979797979797979797979799779799779797979°F (Warning may also explode.)

Step Six

Congratulations on surviving the other explosion. Please repeat steps One, Two, and three.

Step Seven

Now take the card out of the fridge and put it in your fireplace so it cools down. (Warning will not explode)

Step Eight

Now that your card has cooled down you need to make it into a hat with help from your grandmother, in case of explosion tell your grandma to go away while making it.

Step Nine

Now that your grandma has hopefully returned ask her to turn it back into a card. (Warning will explode in reverse).

Step Ten

Eat the card to release the tree.

Step Eleven

Laugh at how stupid you have been!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Repeat step Six for a stupid person party.

Step Twelve

Go get another Tree.

Step Last

Now burn the tree for a campfire!!!!!!!! Repeat step 11 except don't laugh. Do it and you will get another party.

Step The Last (For Real This Time)

Realize that there was no step four and realize that you did everything invalidly so you'll have to do it all over again from the beginning.