Captain Censor

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I'm worse than China!

~ Captain Censor on Censorship

Captain Censor is a evil communist conspirator, attempting to "save the people" by censoring all kinds of negativity about him, his leadership skills, and his regime. Captain Censor is known for his poor censorship skills, with most of the material censored coming out incomprehensible. Ironically, he will censor negative comments about his censorship skills aswell.

Showoff.Now you will pay! Get censified!


Captain Censor was born on August 20th, 1990. Though Captain Censor is practically in his 20's, A.K.A his youthful years, he looks like a shriveled raisin. Because of this, he wears 30 types of lotion and 20 types of creams. The captain is also known for his constant accusations of child molestation. The Captain's father, Captain Oblivious, is often attributed to Censor's failure as a captain, as Oblivious never took much interest in his son, or his family, or anything in general. During his death in 2010, Captain Oblivious addressed his failure as a father, saying:

“I have a son?”

~ Captain Oblivious on his son's failure

Captain Censor's mother and Censor were extremely close, with her practically raising him all the times his father was oblivious of his own obliviousness (meaning he was oblivious of the fact that he was oblivious, if that makes sense). When she died, the Captain had this to say:

“My mom raised me forever. Though I will miss her exuberance, I will especially miss her credit card.

~ Captain Censor


In 2018, PETA called out Captain Censor for censoring a page that, quote-on-quote "exposed the molestation of baby cows by aliens by farmers to make an elite-cow race." Captain Censor was actually supported for the decision by the NAF (National Association of Farmers), saying "Thanks for censoring that article. It could had exposed us for the cow-molesting aliens-befriending bastards we are." The NAF has since deleted this comment.