Carl Jung

‘’’Carl Jung’’’ is a 1200 year old smegollgist wh invented gin cotton, flexible dogs, lateral sigmoidoscopy, the gag reflex, inverse plasmids, cattle direction finders, antique antler pillows, elegant blown glass septic systems, chihuahuas, restricted content, fontina underwear and smoked salmon, and 67 other patented methods of doing silly things. His mother was not a hamster, but his father did smell strongly of elderberry.

He was raised on a diet of turnips and parchment, which resulted in three clubbing feet. His third foot was directly connected to his third eye when he was three years old, resulting in his being parched for knowledge and glandular nepotism.

His penchant for learning was noted by Zulus, and a special dance is performed on Boxing Day to this day. Many cantankerous Vietnamese auto body workers recognize him for his work with wafer fabrication and the perfection of technicolor bananas. He is also noted by Inuit pancake distillers as a crucial cog in the Universe Machine.

No one actually met him after age 13 because he chose to live cloistered with Schrödinger’s cat. He also brought his beloved Frunobulax, a Rhodesian Ridgeback who also loved cats and artificial sweeteners.